What We've Seen So Far

AI4 recap, What We’ve Seen So Far

It’s been quite a while since AI4 has started. There have been audition shows in DC, Orlando, New Orleans, St Louis, San Francisco & Las Vegas. They actually had one scheduled for Alaska, but it was cancelled. Go figure. What? Carlos Boozer didn’t have a little sister talented enough? Trajan Langdon’s nephew wasn’t available? Okay, those are the only people that I can think of that are from Alaska.

This year brought us guest judges at the auditions (which means, I think, that they won’t be thrust upon us during the finals; which is a good thing). Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray was first. And all he could say was “you’re hot” to some of the female contestants. Mark reminded me of my buddy Matt McCollum, who also is mistaken for Kevin Bacon at times, save for the fact that Matt’s 6’7”. Gene Simmons of KISS was next and he was an interesting judge. He thought that he understood what AI was looking for and voted no for some, not based on talent, but on what his definition of an American Idol was.

Kenny Loggins was next and all I can think of when I hear Kenny Loggins is ‘80s soundtrack fodder. He was THE KING of soundtracks in the ‘80s. Top Gun, Footloose, Caddyshack, Over the Top. I once heard him on one of those bad airline “Spotlight On” features. He said that he was embarrassed by his soundtrack fame and felt like he “sold out” during that period. Tell me, how can you be ashamed of “Footloose,” “I’m Free,” “I’m Alright,” “Danger Zone,” and “Meet Me Halfway?” Does he realize how many children of the ‘80s he made happy? He also had a song on “Elmopalooza”…

Next was LL (Ladies Love) Cool J. My first song of LL’s that I remember was “Dear Yvette.” Jeff Yahiro dubbed me a mix tape and that was on. Not the most wholesome lyrics, but it was catchy. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a hardcore, gangsta rap mogul, but you couldn’t help to listen to the crossover rap that made it onto the Top 40 stations back then. LL, Run DMC, Beastie Boys. I remember when “You Be Illin’” was in and Jill Nakashima asked, “Who’s Ellen?” Classic. Speaking of Top 40 radio, does anyone who grew up in the Bay Area remember KWSS, 94.5? Remember Kelly & Klein? Well, when I was in Chicago, a guy named Steve Scott was the fill-in PA announcer when Ray Clay had a conflict and couldn’t do the game (currently, I think Steve Scott is now the Bulls full-time PA guy because Ray & the Bulls have parted ways). Steve did the news for the Kelly & Klein show.

Last was Brandy, who I can’t separate from Moesha. Is it me, or are Brandy’s eyes WAY too far apart? Other than that, she’s real cute. And now she’s dating/engaged/married to Quentin Richardson of the Phoenix Suns, formerly of the Los Angeles Clippers, by way of DePaul University and Whitney Young HS in Chicago. For those of you who used to be Region B Believers, Q is also the originator, along with Darius Miles, of the double head bump that Dante has made so famous. I think that they explained it as they were “putting up their antennae.” They even had a commercial doing that. Back to Brandy, we just got that movie Shark Tale and it is funny. Will Smith is quite an entertainer. Brandy reminds me of one of the fish in that movie, with her eyes the way they are.

For the record, I’ve never done these recaps of the auditions before, so I’m on uncharted grounds here. So I’m working on a blank canvas. Recapping the singers is pretty cut and dry. But there is so much that was seen and heard of ALL the auditions, plus the Hollywood ones.

This is what we know so far. They started with hundreds of thousands, cut it to 200 or so to Hollywood. Cut that down again, then ended up with 44. They did not sing again, but rather the judges reviewed the tapes and cut it further to 24; 12 guys and 12 girls. For the next 3 weeks, the guys will perform on Monday, the girls on Tuesday and the results will come on Wednesday. They will cut 2 guys and 2 girls each of the first 3 weeks to pare it down to 12 (6 guys and 6 girls). Then the “final” 12 will all sing together and they will be voted off one by one from there (I think). Basically, this competition will last longer than the baseball season. So think of the auditions as pitchers and catchers reporting to Spring Training and the regular season starts on Monday.

A few words on the auditions. Personally, I don’t really like the auditions because they don’t really show you anything. They just do them to show the bad ones. Some people are seriously delusional if they think they can sing. I don’t really think the judges are that cruel. The screeners are the really nasty ones. They obviously know that some of the people that they let through have no talent whatsoever, yet they allow them to embarrass themselves in front of the cameras.

Some of the bad/amusing ones.

That girl in the red shirt and white pants. That poor girl was in the class of Keith (“Like A Virgin” guy from a few years back) where she actually thought she was good.

That guy who said he was related to Toni Braxton, but really sounded like Goat Boy from Saturday Night Live.

The guy in the purple shirt and complimenting purple contacts that held the note for the loooooooooooooong time. Scary.

The Malfetta twins. Guys that old cannot be singing boy band songs. Even if the Backstreet Boys are old and should be called the Backstreet Men. And Man Banders, instead of Boy Banders.

The Asian kid who was wearing a shirt that read, “I’m Not Hung.” I’m not either, but I don’t go around advertising it…

The older guy who claimed his family told him that he sounded like Brian McKnight. That was brutal.

The Crunk kid, who you couldn’t understand, except when he said, “CAN YOU DIG IT?!” He was quite entertaining though.

There were others, but it’s been so long that I can’t remember them all.

On to Hollywood.

Can I just say that I cannot stand it when they make them sing in groups? It serves no purpose other than potential drama, which is probably why they do it. This is an individual competition. Having to mesh in a group only adds to the stress and can only do harm, never any good.

The ones that I’m glad are gone

The Asian girl from Stockton. How annoying was her voice? She sang okay, but she couldn’t remember the words to simple songs and was just annoying.

The kid that was the dancer and did James Brown in his audition. His voice wasn’t really that strong and dancing is such a distraction if that dominates your performance.

That girl Aa’shia (pronounced Asia) that was so ultra-confident that it was maddening. Plus, she sang like Alvin and the Chipmunks.

I really don’t think there were any that got cut that I’m upset about.

My favorites

From the guys

Mario Vasquez – a little cocky, but very good

Scott Savol – way confident, but man can he blow. He looks and talks like Jeremy Newberry from the Niners (by way of Cal), but he sings like an angel. The way that he talks and sometimes doesn’t look at you reminds me of the Rain Man. Almost autistic-like.

Anthony Federov – This kid is the feel good story of the competition. Emergency tracheotomy as a kid (you can still see an indentation below his collar line) and was told he may never talk again. Talk again? He can sing like no other. Very Clay Aiken-like, but less geeky.

Anwar Robinson – the music teacher. And a great role model for his kids too. He’s got a great voice and a good look. And I love the name Anwar. Anwar McQueen played at Cal and is now an assistant coach at USF. Great kid. Good college player, but not great. I wrote a feature on him for the Cal basketball magazine the year after I finished school. Just a fascinating kid. I think Anwar means “strong warrior” or something like that.

Constantine Maroulis – the rocker! Great voice, although he may struggle with some of the themes that they put the contestants through. I like him better than Bo Bice. Constantine looks like former TAPer Matt Swanson, if Matt had long hair…

Travis Tucker – the last one through. I liked him since his audition.

Nikko Smith – son of former baseball great Ozzie Smith. I think he changed his name from Osbourne Smith to Nikko. Maybe to make his own name and try to make it without his father’s name? I don’t necessarily think that he’ll win, but I like him. And he looks just like his dad! Ozzie revolutionized the way shortstop was played. He may have been the originator of the “skip throw” to first base. He figured out that when he went deep in the hole, if he threw the ball to first and skipped it once instead of throwing it directly on the fly, it would get to first faster. This is only on artificial turf though.

From the gals

Carrie Underwood – the farm girl. She had a great audition too, but she may be a little too country in her voice and this competition is just not set up for that. I think she’ll do well though.

Vonzell Solomon – the mail carrier from Florida. She has a great attitude and can sing too.

Amanda Avila – the semi-showgirl from Las Vegas (I think she sings in the Treasure Island show). Beautiful voice and she reminds me of Phoebe Cates. I used to be in love with Phoebe Cates. Her portrayal of Linda Barrett in Fast Times at Ridgemont High was priceless. That movie was priceless. It launched the careers of many (Sean Penn, Jenifer Jason Leigh, Judge Reinhold, Forest Whitaker; and in lesser roles, Eric Stoltz, Nicolas Cage and Anthony Edwards). Talk about a movie that defined a generation. And whatever happened to Mike Damone? The cool guy that looked like he was 35? Much like Fonzie was the cool guy in Happy Days, and looked 35? Back to Cates. I think I watched every movie she was in, and that included Gremlins and Drop Dead Fred. Then she goes and marries Kevin Kline? Kevin Kline? And then she raises a family and stops doing movie. What a disservice he did to Hollywood. Her acting career was ended prematurely. But go Amanda, I’m rooting for you.

Lindsay Cardinale – Liked her in the auditions too. We’ll see more of her.

Mikalah Gordon – the young tart from Vegas. As Simon said, “she has to be most confident 16 year old ever.” She’s a bit spastic and over the top, but she can sing and she’s fun. But she’s also very emotional and we’ll see how that plays out in the upcoming weeks.

That’s about it. I’m actually considering posting these up on the Internet soon. But don’t worry, even if that happens, you’ll still receive these in your e-mail boxes. That won’t change. For the record, my wife is against it. She likes the intimacy of the e-mails. And I do too. But what got me thinking of it was my former regional manager, Mike Patterson. He said that I’m a blogger (blog is short for web log, which is like a running diary posted on the Net). These recaps are a rudimentary form of a blog because usually blogs are just thoughts, like a public journal, where the recaps usually have more of a purpose. Anyway, I’ve got some free space on blogger.com and I’ll let you know if I start posting them…

Until Monday night (these two-a-weeks are going to kill me for the next 3 weeks…), CAN YOU DIG IT?