AI4 recap, Semi-Finalists, Gals x 12 (02/22)

AI4 recap, Semi-Finalists, Gals x 12 (02/22)

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Before I go on with this recap I have to confess that I am ashamed that I didn’t know a lot of the songs tonight. I got the ‘80s songs, but some of the others I was completely clueless. So that begs the question, how credible can I be as a “recapper” if I don’t know the material? So read on, but take caution…

I was late getting home from dinner tonight and missed the first two singers, but don’t worry from the miracle known as TiVo, we were covered. Don’t you like how TiVo has become a word in our everyday language? And a verb at that sometimes. You know, “aren’t you going to miss the show?” “No, I’m TiVo-ing it.” I used to use the word TiVo even before we had a TiVo and were using it’s competitor ReplayTV.

A few things that I noticed tonight was 1) how loose the guy competitors were in the audience and 2) how annoying the lighted “American Idol” logo was on the stage. The girls looked like they were attending a wake last night, probably because they were mortified and dreading the wait before they had to perform. The guys were Randy’s “Dawg Pound” and were really outwardly supportive of most of the performances. The lights on the stage were horrible because most of the girls wore a dress or skirt and the lighting made it look like they had extra long straps up their shins & calves. And some of the girls didn’t need that added focus to their calves. More on that later.

01 – Vonzell Solomon, (Love Is Like A) Heat Wave, Martha & the Vandellas
Vonzell, our resident postal worker, starts it out with an upbeat number and is dressed in pink and black like a Prevacid 30mg capsule. I absolutely love how our marketing department finds ways to promote our product in truly “unique” ways. She oozes personality and gives a good performance. Looks a little like Vivica A. Fox, but with smaller eyes. And she reminded my wife a bit of Whitney Houston … in the way she couldn’t dance. If she sings “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” next week and imitates some of those ill moves, I won’t know what to think. I like Vonzell, she’s got a real simple beauty to her and she can sing very well. She’ll make it after this competition, be it singing or modeling. Randy said she was pitchy, but made up for it with her personality. Paula was glad that she got the crowd going. Simon called it an amazing start to the show.

02 – Amanda Avila, How Am I Supposed To Live Without You, Michael Bolton
Didn’t I just ask for no more Michael Bolton songs? Well, it’s okay of Amanda sings it. She DOES look like Phoebe Cates, you know. And she’s got a bit of Teri Hatcher to her too (another one of my favorites). She really didn’t do that great of a job, but I think that she will parallel Christina Christian from the first AI. Top 6 or so. Probably farther than she deserves to go, but it’s the public voting and she’s real cute and just a good enough singer to keep her in. Randy called it alright and the song was demanding vocally. Paula said it was good but not her best. Simon got off a zinger. He said that in a second life he’d like to come back as her microphone. See. He’s got a crush on her just like he did on Christina Christian. Believe me, she will not go until late in the competition. Simon could’ve killed her tonight because her performance was ultra-karaoke. I usually respect his opinions except for when you can tell he’s holding back. And he held back on Amanda.

03 – Janay Castine, I Love You Forever? (artist unknown)
This was one of many songs that I was unfamiliar with tonight. You can post on the recap site if you know the songs and artists that I have failed to recognize. Boy, Janay was nervous tonight. She came out in a dress that looked like it was made out of green velvet drapes from one of your relative’s house. She was a bit flat and was visibly shaking. I don’t know if it was how she sang naturally, but she looked like she had Tourette’s Syndrome. I was waiting for her drop some toothpicks and say, “69-69-69. 207” Yes, I used a calculator for that. Because, no, I’m not Raymond Babbitt, but yes, K-Mart still sucks. Actually K-Marts are dead and up from the ashes, Northern California was introduces to Kohl’s. Randy called it a rangy song. Paula said she’s still a dynamo and wished she stuck with a funner (I know that’s not a word but “more fun” doesn’t sound right) song. Simon said the song was too old for her. It was for a 50 year old and he pointed to Paula. Ouch. Janay may be on the fence for tomorrow night.

04 – Carrie Underwood, Could’ve Been (Tiffany)
I really like Carrie. She reminds me of my time in Ohio where all the girls were corn fed and much bigger than me. She’s cute, just, um, sturdy. Came out in a nice black dress. I did recognize this song, but we thought it was Debbie Gibson (who is posing nude in Playboy soon). When I did my fact checking on Amazon.com, I was surprised to find that it was Tiffany, because I thought Tiffany only sang covers of Beatles songs (I Think We’re Alone Now and I Saw Him Standing There). Can you believe that Tiffany actually has a Greatest Hits CD? There are actually 12 on there, but only 3 that I remember her singing. Wasn’t Tiffany the Queen of Mall Shows? And remember that video that was of a mall concert? Well, Carrie definitely sang it better than Tiffany. Randy called it absolutely brilliant. Paula gushed that it was wonderful and Simon said that she is one of the favorites to win the whole competition. I agree wholeheartedly. And I’m glad that she sang a pop song and not a country one. Her strength is in country, but if she can be versatile enough to make it through all the theme shows that they make them do, I think that she can really contend.

05 – Sarah Mather, Get Ready Because Here I Come? (song & artist unknown)
Sarah is kinda funny looking. She kinda reminds me of Michelle Pfeiffer, but not as good looking. Or in contemporary terms, she’s Ashlee Simpson to Michelle Pfeiffer’s Jessica Simpson. And how about that Ashlee Simpson? You know, that whole Saturday Night Live “acid reflux” incident could’ve been avoided if she would’ve just taken her Prevacid in the morning a half hour before she ate breakfast. She was probably taking Nexium and that caused the whole lip-synching, oops my band played the wrong song, but I’m going to do a stupid dance to further embarrass myself fiasco. My wife said she has a weird voice. Kinda mousey, but kinda just weird. Randy said it was a good song choice. Paula said it was not a good song choice because there was no lead vocalist in it and it only had one octave. Simon said you never have a second chance to make a good first impression and that was a bad first impression. And Seacrest, said, “THANK YOU, DONNA” as they headed to the next singer. I don’t know if any of you caught it, but he called her DONNA!!

06 – Melinda Lira, Power of Love (Celine Dion)
Okay, I’m not proud that I did know this song. When I was in Chicago, I must admit, Kristin and I went to the Celine Dion concert. She’s a great singer and all, but her movements on stage are kinda manly. And after seeing her in interviews since, I’m not all that impressed with her French-Canadian-ness. Melinda seemed nervous during her performance. She’s a cute girl, but she’s … how can I put this? Very powerfully built. And those up lights on the stage highlighted her, well, the Japanese call it “daikon ashi.” Daikon is a white shapeless radish and “ashi” means legs. I think that Melinda can sing better and I hope that she’s around at least one more week to prove it. Randy said she was sharp on some notes, but called her a young Kelly Clarkson. Paula said that she has one of the strongest voices in the competition. I can’t remember what Simon said. We’ll see how it goes for Melinda because she clearly wasn’t her best tonight.

07 – Nadia Turner, song unknown (artist unknown)
Sounded like something Lenny Kravitz would sing. This song was a limited song. My wife said it has like 4 or 5 notes (again, I don’t know how credible of an author I can be commenting on a singing competition when I have ears that are deaf to music, can’t tell unless someone is REALLY flat, don’t know sharp from flat, so I need her by my side to help me write these things) and no range. But Nadia worked it out. She knew how to perform. She took that piece of clay and molded it into a sculpture (was that cheesy or what?). She’s got a cool image. She’s as rocker as Bo & Constantine. Randy said he loved how she stayed true to herself and didn’t come out in a dress or skirt, but in jeans and a tank top. Paula loved it. Simon called it the antidote to karaoke hell, which is quite a compliment coming from him. Nadia’s a performer and I think she’ll do well.

08 – Celena Rae, I Will Love Again? (artist unknown)
Back to back unknown songs. I’m embarrassed. Since I really can’t comment on the song, Celena looked interesting tonight, with a lime green cutoff top that bared her naval and black pants with a belt that looked like handcuffs. She looked like I Dream of Jeannie. One thing that Kristin picked up was that the song was too low for her at the beginning. Celena looks too old for this competition. She’s 29 already (probably 28 at the time she auditioned). Wrinkles already under her eyes. Randy said it was safe and boring. Paula said it was tentative at the beginning. Simon the song didn’t really tell anyone who she was or what she was about. She may be out of the competition tomorrow…

09 – Mikalah Gordon, Young Hearts? (artist unknown)
Sounded like something Taylor Dayne would’ve sung, but I’m clueless to who or what this song was. Three strikes and I’m out. She came out with way darker hair than the auditions. Was it dyed? Or is it natural and she was bleached before? Don’t know. I did get an e-mail from June who was disgusted with her cankles though. Those up lights didn’t do some of the girls any favors. Mikalah’s only 16. She’s gonna have to find a treadmill or put down the ice cream though. Randy said she is full of personality and he thoroughly enjoyed her. Paula said she’s a character and she’s fun, lovable and goofy. Simon said that ½ the audience would’ve found that performance amusing and the other ½ annoying. That went ditto for our couch. I thought it was fine and my wife was annoyed. She said that she can’t imagine herself listening to a whole CD of Mikalah’s. I just got Tamyra Gray’s CD the other day and it is good. Probably the best of any AI competitor yet. Then again, I’m not totally qualified to make that judgment because I have not and will not buy Justin Guarini’s, Fantasia Barrino’s, Diana DiGarmo’s, Joshua Gracin’s or RJ Helton’s. Ruben’s two CDs have been disappointing. Kelly Clarkson’s first was not that good and I haven’t heard her second. Clay’s is okay. Around the holidays, William Hung came out with a Christmas CD. Can you ever get tired of “Deck the hars with boughs of harrie, fa ra ra ra ra , ra ra, ra ra?” I think Mikalah is fun and she’s not totally annoying yet. She’s got a great voice, but this song was putrid.

10 – Lindsey Cardinale, Standing Right Next To Me? (artist unknown)
Ouch. Four in row. The Golden Sombrero. Lindsey reminds me of last year’s Italian princess, mafia daughter Julia Damato. Man, when they had Julia’s family with her in the red room, it looked like “The Family.” I’m surprised Simon didn’t end up with a horse’s head in his bed. Or that after she sang, Johnnie Two Fingers came on with Seacrest and said to all of America, “Mr. Damato would REALLY appreciate it if youse all would vote for Julia, if you know what I mean.” She’s a pretty girl and has a good voice, but this song was not good. Randy said that she’s a better singer than that. Paula said that she has a deep, rich, sexy voice, but didn’t show that off tonight. Simon told her to take a risk next time. If there’s a next time.

11 – Jessica Sierra, Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now), (Phil Collins)
Ah, an ‘80s song that I knew! This is the song that everyone thinks the name is “Take A Good Look At Me Now” which it’s subtitle, but not main song title. She really did a good job of country-ing this song up. Really made it her own. I wasn’t a fan of hers before tonight, but she’s winning me over with tonight’s performance. Randy said he liked it and likes her husky tone. Paula said she commanded the stage. Simon said she was nervous, but shows a lot of potential.

12 – Aloha Mischeaux, Work It Out? (Beyonce)
I really didn’t know this song, but Randy said it was Beyonce (Knowles, from Destiny’s Child). It was upbeat and all and I guess she sang it well. I was distracted by her dancing and was afraid that the up shots of the camera were going to show me more than I was bargaining for. Randy said he loved it, but to be careful to not try to imitate Beyonce and to just be herself. Paula praised her for her showmanship. Simon said that when he looks back at the show, he’ll remember this performance. It was okay for me. I won’t vote for her, but I won’t hate on her either. Let’s see how she does next week.

Let’s see, I voted for Vonzell, Amanda, Carrie, Nadia and Jessica. If I had to choose the final 6 gals, it would have to be Vonzell, Amanda, Carrie, Nadia, Mikalah and Jessica/Melinda. We’ll see how the “You Four Go Home” Show goes tomorrow night. Bye for now.