AIV recap lite, Semi-Finalists, Gals+Guys x 12 (02/21-22)

Sorry, but it’s been a crazy week. We had our National Sales Meeting in Las Vegas from Monday thru Thursday. I didn’t get to watch any (gals, guys, nor results) of the shows live. I was only able make it through half of the gals on Thursday night before I passed out from exhaustion. I made it all up last night (Friday) without knowing who was eliminated.

So this is a recap lite. It won’t be as in depth as usual. I wasn’t watching and taking notes as I usually do (are you thinking to yourself right now, “he takes notes while watching AI?” and “he really needs to get a life…”), so most of this will be from memory. The songs won’t necessarily be right nor the artists that originally sang them. This will be off the top of my head, kind of like when I first started. But I’ve found that I get more material when I do write things down when they come into my head because I’ve got the worst short term memory out there. I can remember that I struck out 12 kids and threw a one-hitter when I was twelve (no walks and only 65 pitches thrown) and that I once scored 11 points in a high school varsity basketball game (the only time I broke double digits; the local paper once mused that my GPA was higher than my scoring average), but I can’t remember what I ate for lunch yesterday. Go figure.

So, the order may not be correct because I’ll be winging it.

Here we go.

The Gals

Mandisa – She sang that Heart song, which was a bit of a surprise; her singing a rock song. I think that Mandisa has a great personality and can sang. She will definitely be one of the final 6 gals.

Ayla – I’m torn on Ayla because she is such a jock, but then is also a girl. In her bio it said that she played football with the boys for 3 years. And she’s got shoulders like a swimmer. Maybe I’m just intimidated by women that tower over me. I’m not afraid to admit that. She has a bit of an icy/robotic personality, like CP3O or Jon Olerud. But hopefully we’ll get to see a different side of her soon. She keeps changing her look too. Straight hair, then curly. And when she smiles her eyes go Asian and you can only see slits. I like her, I think. I’m glad that she’ll move on so that we can see more of her. She did a good job with her “Reflection” song, but trying to sing a Christina Aguilera song is a bit ambitious for her.

Becky – Um, yeah, Becky is hot. Maybe the hottest girl ever to be on AI. Word from the TAP Home Office (thanks Hanzo) has it that Becky and her sister were on a twins version of Fear Factor and that they were also on the cover and the main photo feature of a Maxim magazine. Nice work! And she sings too?! For those of you who are unfamiliar, Maxim is basically Playboy, without the full nudity. I mean you CAN look at in public because there isn’t nudity, but you’d still feel like a dirty old man if someone caught you looking at it. I don’t even remember what she sang, but I know the song didn’t knock my socks off.

Kellie – Again, don’t remember what she sang, but whatever she sings, she’ll overpower it. But, I still think she’ll make it to the final 6 gals. After that, all bets are off. She really reminds me of Laura Linney (Primal Fear, You Can Count on Me, The Truman Show), but cuter. She is such a down home, Southern girl. I think America will like her. She will cry a lot during this season.

Paris – She really jazzed up the “Midnight Train to Georgia” song. Her vocals are great. She did remind me a bit of Fantasia with all of her dance theatrics though. I’m hoping that will pass though, because I got tired of Fantasia real quick. Paris is a force to be reckoned with in this competition. She’s in the final 6 girls for sure and will be in the final 3 gals and probably final 4 or 5. It’s crazy that she’s only 17, but performs so maturely and confidently.

Stevie Scott – How annoying is this chick? Annoying voice. Annoying personality. Annoying wardrobe. She reminded me of the annoying girl from a few years back. The Bulgarian one from Seattle. She pouted when the judges critiqued her, which annoyed me. She’s one of my favorites though. J

Brenna – Boy, she annoys me too, but not as much as Stevie. Brenna’s cute, but there reaches a point where cute just doesn’t cut it anymore. There will be a point where her arrogance and lack of couth will overpower her looks. She’s like that hot chick that a guy dates in high school. She’s great looking and all, but she’s certifiable. How long does he stay with her until he loses all his friends and respect for putting up with her. Or for the women it’s like when they go out with that pretty boy, only to discover that he’s got the personality of a rock and the depth of a puddle. Or it’s like Tom Cruise. Sure, he’s an icon and good looking, but he’s a Scientology freak. Did Katie Holmes not know that going in? Was she blind to it because she was in love with him growing up? Believe me that age difference really gives me the creeps too. There is a 16 year age difference there. He was a sophomore in high school when she was born. Isn’t there some kind of de facto statutory rape thing going on here? Anyway, back to Brenna. She’s kind of like this year’s Mikaela. Simon likes her because of her sassiness, but really, she just annoys everyone else. She’s not likable enough, nor talented enough to make the final 6 gals.

Heather – I think she’s the one who sang “When You Tell Me That You Love Me,” made famous(?) by the AI group last year. She’s not that memorable other than she looks like Sarah Michelle Buffy Gellar Prinze, Jr. Speaking of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” how common is it for a TV show to become more popular than the movie that it was spawned from? Obviously the WB made it darker and more serious. How bummed do you think Kristy Swanson is that she wasn’t attached to the TV series? “Clueless” tried to become a TV show (complete with Stacey Dash and Donald “Turk from Scrubs” Faison in both the movie and show), but failed. And what happened to Alicia Silverstone? I know she had a failed show (Miss Match) a few years ago, but she has fallen way off the radar screen. Back to Heather. She’s okay. She has an outside shot of making it to the final 6 gals, but also can be off next week.

Lisa Tucker – Can someone check her ID and make sure she’s really 16? Because she sings way past her years. She sang “I Am Changing” and this song really could’ve been too old and mature for her, but she nailed it. I have to take back all the comparisons to Diana DiGarmo. I may have to apologize to her personally too. I now have to compare to a young Tamyra Gray or LaToya London. She really has that cool, elegant feel to her while she’s performing. Not over the top, just professional. I think she’ll be in the last 3 gals with Paris and Katharine.

Kinnik – Is it me or does she look like a female impersonator? She’s just so tall and manly. She sang “Get Here” by Oleta Adams. I guess that’s who sang it originally. I thought that Karyn White redid it in the ‘80s, only to find out it was Brenda Russell who covered it. She was okay, but Simon really gave it to her, citing her age (28). He was referring to the fact that two 16 year olds already outsang her and will probably continue to outsing her. I’ve got really nothing great to say about Kinnik other than it’s cool that her name is a palindrome. But isn’t it odd that palindrome isn’t one? Just like we drive on parkways and park on driveways. Or isn’t it ironic that abbreviation is so long?

Melissa – Someone needs to check her ID to see if she’s the same girl from the auditions and Hollywood? Seriously, she’s packed on more than a few lbs since Hollywood. She’s supposed to be some kind of beauty pageant queen. She wore some kind of revealing low cut top in Hollywood but I don’t think America’s ready to see her in that in her present state. She’s like the boxers who suck down weight for the weigh in, only to put on like 10-15 pounds before the start of the fight (something Bernard Hopkins doesn’t do, by the way). She sang “When The Lights Go Down,” by Faith Hill, or is it Faith Ford? Which one is married to Tim McGraw (son of Tug McGraw)? And which one is fake sisters with Kelly Ripa on that show that is soon to be cancelled (if it already hasn’t been) since Ted (Jump the Shark) McGinley is on it? I’ll tell you what Melissa does when the lights go down. She raids the fridge. I don’t see her making it very far.

Katharine – I don’t even remember what she sang, but I can tell you she did it well. And I’m falling in like with her. She’s got a ton of energy and personality. And it seems real and genuine. Like when she was standing up there and was embarrassed because there were people sitting behind her and she apologized to them for having to look at her butt (because it’s so big) all the time. She’s cute in that way. And she’s got an amazing voice. I really think that her, Lisa and Paris are the big 3. Maybe four, since Mandisa is so big too.

Now on to the guys (I’ll go alphabetically), then a summation of the announce the losers show.

Ace – Okay, I’ll get this off my chest right away. I have a man crush on Ace. He sang “Father Figure” by George Michael, which gave me pause a little, but he did well on the song. And he worked the camera like it’s supposed to be worked. Not like Constantine who tried to work the camera, but just bothered most people. I say most, because I know there are those out there (June) who loved him. Even though he looked like a young Montgomery Burns from The Simpsons. Ace is, without a doubt, in the final 6 guys and will probably be in the final 4 overall, if not win the thing outright.

Bobby – He sang “Copacabana” by Barry Manilow because it was his grandmother’s wish on her death bed. Bad choice. The flamboyant Bobby reminded me a lot of Goldberg on the Mighty Duck movies. The fat kid who played goalie. You know what really bothered me about those movies (and yes, I watched all 3 of them)? It was that Charlie (Joshua Jackson, or Pacey from Dawson’s Creek) went from the loser kid (he actually gave up his spot on the roster so that the intercity kid from LA could play on the team) to the team’s leader and best player in the 3^rd one (when they were freshmen at the boarding school and taking on the varsity team). Bobby was horrible. It’s almost as if they were going to put the Brittenum twins in the final 12 guys but had to add 2 guys later because of their subsequent arrests for identity theft. But why Bobby? He clearly was the worst of all the 24 semi-finalists.

Bucky – I don’t know what to make of Bucky. Maybe it’s because I couldn’t understand a word he sang. He was like Adam Sandler’s “Cajun Man.” Aw-di-shone. Com-pli-ca-shone. Cov-ing-tone. I was expecting them to pan to Rob Schneider in the audience saying, “You can do it.” I hope you got that “Water Boy” reference. Bucky should be gone soon. But then again, the guys aren’t that strong, other than Ace, Taylor, Elliott and Gedeon.

Chris – The rocker from NC. Sang “Dead or Alive” by Bon Jovi. It worked for him. He just seems so serious and a bit scary. Shaving his beard/goatee helped soften him up a little. I think that he’s going to struggle during the genre changes, but will last until maybe the final 6 guys. It’s hard to tell though because there are 3 guys (David, Kevin and Will) that will be getting the “boy next door” votes.

David – This poor guy. I think he was fighting back tears during the critique. He should know that you NEVER, and I mean NEVER, do an impersonation during this competition. That is grounds for a Randy/Simon beat down. You need to be yourself. Or do a song differently. You can’t do Elvis like David did and expect to get rave reviews. The hard part for him was that he put his heart and soul into the performance and he got shot down for trying to be funny, which he wasn’t trying to be. But, he’s a cute kid (he’s only 17) and will get a ton of votes. He’ll probably make it farther than he should, but at least he’s not John Stevens. Yet. And I know this kid looks like someone, but I can’t put my finger on it. David Carr maybe?

Elliott – This guy is like the Scott Savol of this year, but with more talent and less bad ass attitude. He really looks like Seth Green, mixed with Eminem, if you throw Adam Sandler’s underbite in there. So I’ll refer to him as SAM (Seth Adam Mathers) from time to time. Elliott can flat out sing. I like him a lot. I don’t have a man crush on him, but I like him. He’s almost the anti-Idol. He’s doing this for a break and not to become iconoclastic. I think he should be in the final 4 guys.

Gedeon – I can’t believe he sang “Shout.” I would think that this song would be very karaoke-ish, but he made it work. I was expecting to hear a “yeah yeah, yeah yeah” in the back ground. Or some big black dude asking, “do you mind if we dance with your dates?” Or perhaps an “Otis, my man” comments. Gedeon is very good, but also very confident, bordering on cocky. I think he’s in the final 4 guys, but we’ll see.

Jose “Sway” – Man did Sway look like a pimp or what? And when he said that his parents would sing that song to him when he was little, images of his Filipino parents singing, mixing up their v’s with b’s and their f’s with p’s dashed across my mind. “These are the reasons that we PEER…” It would be straight out of a Frank DeLima skit. Sway did hit that high note though and that impressed the judges. I don’t think he will go far, but he’s done okay to date.

Kevin – When I heard that he was going to sing “One Last Cry,” I was worried because it’s a big song. Brian McKnight is great for this competition, if you have the voice to sing it. Kevin did okay with it, but he didn’t nail it. But mothers and grandmothers are going to love him and keep him in this competition. At least he’s better than John Stevens though. And how great was it when he went over to the Poodle Pound and they all pinched his cheeks? He’s looking for kisses next time!

Patrick – When I heard he was singing a Melissa Ethridge song, I thought if he’s going to sing a song by a woman, at least she’s a masculine woman. This was a bad song choice by him. When they showed his Hollywood clips, he nailed the “If” song and if he had repeated that this week, he probably would’ve been on to the next round. But then again, I didn’t see him going very far anyway. He looked like a straight laced Tony Hawk. He looked old. Not as old as Taylor, but old in a, why would I vote for him kind of way. I think that he has a good voice and could perform, but he looks more like a lounge singer than an American Idol.

Taylor – Boy do we love us some Taylor Hicks in our household. He’s been compared to Ray Charles, Joe Cocker, Michael McDonald and Jay Leno (minus the chin). Whomever he’s compared to, it doesn’t matter. Taylor loves to sing and a lot of people love to listen to him sing. He’s got such an infectious personality and really looks like he’s having fun performing. I think he’s going to be in the top 4 guys. He lists Cyndi Lauper, Billy Joel, Van Morrison and Bob Seger as his favorite artists. Really, someone needs to check his ID because I’m 35 and I know and remember those artists. Everyone else lists Usher and Gwen Stefani and Beyonce.

Will – He did his Jackson 5 “I Want You Back” complete with the head bobs and spins. It wasn’t bad, but you have to be careful doing Michael Jackson routines. You don’t want to impersonate and it’s sometimes hard to change up his songs. My wife thinks he looks like Peter Brady (Paula said Bobby Brady) and wouldn’t that be funny if he sang “Time to Change,” complete with the voice cracking? Maybe when they get down to the final 3 guys and 3 gals they could do “It’s a Sunshine Day” or “We Can Make The World A Whole Lot Brighter.” Just a thought. He’s a cute kid and I think he has the best voice of the 3 young ones (Will, David and Kevin). He too may go farther than he should, but again, he’s more likable and talented than John Stevens.

So that was it. I’m not surprised by any of the 4 that were dismissed. I’m very glad that Stevie and Bobby were put out of their misery. I think that Patrick deserved to stay another week, but what difference does it make? He was not going to win anyway. I’m a little sad to see Becky go. They did flash on one of Ace’s brothers in the audience on Wednesday night and my wife said that if Ace and his brother dated the O’Donohue twins, they could qualify as the best looking couples on the planet. But if they had kids they would probably be ugly. Have you noticed that good looking parents never have good looking kids? My poor kids aren’t going to have a chance. J Actually, when you tell me that my kids are cute, it is like adding salt to a wound, confirming that I’m funny looking.

So that’s it for now. I hope to get back on track next week, which means two recaps for the next two weeks until they pare it down to the final 12.

And as always, I’ll be posting these on the web at http://airecaps.blogspot.com

The old ones from last season are archived there too.