AI7 recap, Finalists x 5 (04/29)

Neil Diamond week, which reminds me of that lame movie “Saving Silverman” that starred Jason Biggs (from the “American Pie” trilogy; yes, they made three of them), Jack Black, Steve Zahn (Lenny from “That Thing You Do!”) and Amanda Peet. The 3 guys play Neil Diamond fanatics and play in a cover band that only plays Neil Diamond covers. Lame movie because Jason Biggs will forever be known as the guy from “American Pie.”

01, 06 – Jason Castro, Forever in Blue Jeans & September Morn

So, someone on this list referred to Jason Castro as the “dumbest person in America.” It’s hard for me to argue with that. Well, his second song was better than his first, but that’s not saying much. He just doesn’t have that strong of a voice. He has a nice voice for certain types of songs, but overall he’s difficult to listen to. And his facial ticks are making him hard to watch too. Not exactly the best combo for a supposed American Idol. Randy didn’t dig his first one and called the second one just okay. Paula called both songs safe, but she totally flubbed the segment after the first round of songs. She commented on Jason’s second song even though he hadn’t even sung it yet. Paula is on something every week, be it alcohol or prescription medication and she really needs to be off this show. I think the show’s producers think that she means so much to the show and that it may not be as good without her. But this is the seventh season and although her name is what got it off the ground (honestly, who knew who Randy and Simon were?), if there was a smart, witty, intelligent woman that sat in between Randy and Simon and actually partook in some witty repartee with Simon, I think the show would be much, much better. Simon needs a foil to match his comments and Paula clearly isn’t it. Either she had comments that she needed to say that the producers gave her or she took notes from the rehearsal and just said those. Either way, it’s not that hard to comment on the 5 songs that were just sung. How confusing to a sane, sober person is it to do that? Simon hated his first song and said that the judges don’t recognize Jason anymore. He struggled through both songs. Jason should be in the bottom 3 tomorrow night and given his #1 spot, he may be gone tomorrow.

You know I can’t resist this (and most of you were probably thinking I’d lead with this), but I’m so happy that I don’t have to hear Carly Hennessy/Smithson sing and talk ever again. I did find someone who hates Carly more than I do. It’s hard to believe but that person exists out there. I also had someone comment to me that she thinks Carly “Irish-es up” her accent. I don’t know why I feel better that a person who doesn’t have to carry a green card is going to win, but I do. Seriously though, how do you feel if you’re Carly if you got voted off in a week where 2 people (Jason and Brooke) were complete train wrecks? Jason for his lame song and Brooke for starting again. That would tell me that I’m not very popular because people with “lesser” songs made it through on the fan votes.

02, 07 – David Cook, I’m Alive & All I Really Need Is You

David picked a few of the lesser known Diamond songs. He sped up the first one and really made the second one contemporary. The second one left my wife Kristin saying that she would download that song right now. I think David really knows how to make the songs work for him. He had an AC on his jacket and guitar and I’m assuming it’s for “Adam Cook,” which is his brother who is suffering from brain cancer. Kudos to both David and even Ryan Seacrest for not drawing unnecessary attention to it. Randy said he rocked the house. Paula said something scripted and Simon said the first song was okay, but the second one was brilliant. I see a finals of the two Davids with neither having a negligible advantage.

03, 08 – Brooke White, I’m A Believer & I Am I Said

I’m A Believer was a nightmare. Brooke’s not an upbeat song gal. She’s not a happy singer. Unless she did that song for the kids she used to nanny because they liked Shrek, I saw no merit in the first song. She looks like a fish out of water when she tries to dance to upbeat songs. The judges criticized David Cook for potentially being lost without his guitar, but Brooke would not be in the finals if she wasn’t able to play an instrument while she sang. I think the use of instruments is a good thing and a fortunate one for Brooke. Brooke’s second song was much better than the first, but that’s not saying much because the first one pretty much sucked. Randy called it a nice job. Paula looked drunk or on drugs when she commented on Brooke. Simon, after calling her first song a nightmare, said this is the Brooke we like. I still think Brooke is in the bottom 3 tomorrow.

04, 09 – David Archuleta, Sweet Caroline & America

So this first song really reminds me of “Beautiful Girls” when the gang sings the song at the bar. That movie was pretty good, with a stellar ensemble cast (Matt Dillon, Timothy Hutton, Uma Thurman, Lauren Holly, Michael Rappaport, Natalie Portman, Mira Sorvino, Rosie O’Donnell and the underappreciated Annabeth Gish). David’s second song was a bit disappointing, but I think it went over well with the crowd. So the words to “America” are a little intriguing. They could be seen as a positive interpretation of the history of immigration to the United States. But it could also be interpreted as a slight to the non-Americans who were just eliminated (Michael and Carly). It’s probably not the latter, but I like to get my digs in when I can. Randy called both performances good. Paula called it the absolutely perfect song. My wife Kristin didn’t agree with it because it seemed a bit Broadway, but it was probably a wise choice because Kristy Lee Cook played the Up With America card before and it worked for her. Simon echoed Paula’s sentiments when he said it was a smart choice. David should cruise the finals against David Cook and I think that would be one heck of a finale.

05, 10 – Syesha Mercado, Hello Again & I Thank The Lord For The Night

I think Syesha was smart to straighten her hair and “let it down,” both figuratively and literally. It’s like she’s a completely different person now. Both in style and confidence. It’s like she underwent a metamorphosis. I thought she looked a bit like Tatyana Ali (the little sister in “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air”). She’s really done a 180 since the beginning of the finals. It’s kinda like how Vonzell Solomon came on at the end and finished third to Carrie Underwood and Bo Bice in season four. My wife Kristin thought she did a good job with the first song, although she wished David Archuleta would’ve sung it. And Syesha showed so much personality (that was lacking previously) in the second song. Unfortunately, Syesha may not have enough fans to continue much longer. Unless people notice her change for the better, she’ll be a victim of popularity like Carly was. Randy said she finally realized who she is as a singer. Paula called her Brooke to start. Did anyone catch that? Simon thinks she’s going to be in trouble tomorrow night, but he might have been doing that to get people to vote for her. It’s the old reverse-logic trick.

So bottom 2 – Jason & Brooke

Top 3 – Syesha and the 2 Davids

And onto what I remember from last night’s DWTS:

• Kristi Yamaguchi is so good that she is being judged unfairly by the judges. I think they’re holding her to a higher standard and giving higher scores to other contestants who are clearly inferior.
• Kristi did a cool, contemporary Cha Cha Cha and Len docked her. How can she get 10s from the other 2 judges and an 8 from him? At least give her a 9 if not a 10.
• Jason Taylor did the Paso Doble to the theme for Monday Night Football. That was awesome. His Paso was nowhere near Apollo Anton Ohno’s but I really think that he and Edyta must mate for the good of mankind. Either their kids will be the best looking kids on the planet or the worst looking. There would be no in between.
• Marissa is getting a lot better. She is nowhere close to Kristi (and her scores shouldn’t even be in the same zip code), but she’s come a long way. I like her partner Tony more this season than last when he was with Jane Seymour and I don’t know why that is.
• Mario’s partner Karina has too much spray on tan every week. It’s like that episode on Friends when Ross kept messing up and instead of getting a 2 in the front and a 2 on the back, he got a 4 on the front. You know that episode…
• Mario has the “dancer butt,” especially in the white pants on his second number. And he also looks a bit like Chris Tucker.
• Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough are definitely an item. He was trying to play the drill sergeant on her and her comment was something like, “you won’t like it when you go home alone tonight…”
• I really can’t stand Cristian de la Fuente, but I really felt for him last night when he cramped up in his arm and couldn’t continue the routine. He was in obvious pain and just wanted to get out of there. He usually has that cheesy smile on his face and that was completely gone.
• More stars I’d like to see:
• A Food Network Star (Rachel Ray, Emeril Lagasse, Bobby Flay, Tyler Florence, Giada de Laurentiis, Sandra Lee)
• A HGTV person like Candice Olson.
• A WNBA star (Lisa Leslie, Sue Bird, Stacy Dales, Swin Cash)
• A track and field person (Michael Johnson)