AI7 recap, Semi-Finalists, Guys x 8 (03/04)

THIS … is YOUR AI recap. How annoying is Ryan Seacrest? So it’s ‘80s week this week (playing after the ‘60s and ‘70s weeks). I LOVE ‘80s music, but it really wasn’t known for great vocals (which is the strength of this competition). It was more about the show, the synthesizers, the outfits, the alternative stuff, etc. Don’t really know how tonight will turn out. It’s all about song choice tonight.

And the contestants tell us about their embarrassing moment, which I’ll spare all of you because they were all lame.

01 – Luke Menard, Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go (Wham!)

Funny, I always thought the words went, “wake me up before you go GIRL.” Did I really like Wham! back in the day? Careless Whisper was okay, Freedom was pretty good (especially with that video shot in China after they opened it up to the world). Luke kinda looked like George Michael with the stubbly beard. Anyway, Luke sang this in usual falsetto. I think he’s one of the weakest of the guys remaining. Randy said it started off pitchy, but he kinda got it together at the end and it was a little corny. Paula drops the “I choreographed the George Michael tour” bomb, a la Randy. Simon didn’t like it and called it a bit girlie. He most certainly will be in the bottom 2 on Thursday and should be off the show.

02 – David Archuleta, Another Day in Paradise (Phil Collins)

David starts off playing the piano (which he only plays for about 20 seconds; nice set change!) then abandons it for the second verse. I think my wife’s only complaint about him is that he breathes loudly. But the thing we love about this kid is his honesty. And his pure, unadulterated adolescence. This may not be his best performance, but it’s still better than almost all of the other performances by the others. Randy thought it was good. Paula said even though he was imperfect, he was still perfect. Simon said it wasn’t as good as last week and he needs to lighten up a little. He thought the song was a bit depressing, but David said, very honestly, that he liked the message of the song. This kid is the real deal. He should win it all, but even if he doesn’t, he’s a winner. He’ll make it big. Obviously he’s safe on Thursday.

03 – Danny Noriega, Tainted Love (Soft Cell)

I think this song is on EVERY “Greatest Hits of the ‘80s” disc. Almost so much so that I cringe every time I hear it. Way different arrangement, but it was, according to the USA Today guy, “overly showy and flamboyant.” Yup. This kid actually has a pretty good voice, but his showmanship (or lack thereof) gets in the way of it. When I saw his jacket though, I thought he was going to do “Billie Jean” or “Bad.” Randy thought it started rough but liked what he did with it at the end. And praised his “mad attitude.” Paula called him a bright light in the competition. She also called him “sensitive” and “spicy.” What she should have said was, “call 911 because you’re on fire!” Simon thought it was horrible, absolutely useless and hated the arrangement. Danny gave him the single antler back, which was priceless. He should be in the bottom 3 and maybe bottom 2 on Thursday but somehow I think he stays. Votefortheworst.com has him as its poster boy and those votes go a long way this early in the competition. Look how far it took Sanjaya last year…

04 – David Hernandez, It’s All Coming Back To Me Now (Meat Loaf)

So if you hadn’t heard the 411 on David, it’s been circulating on votefortheworst.com, but finally AP did a story on him today. Supposedly he’s been working as a stripper in a gay bar in Phoenix. It will be interesting to see if American Idol acknowledges this or disqualifies him. They let Frenchie go because of an affiliation with an adult website but they did let Antonella Barba get voted off after some racy pictures surfaced of her on the Internet. And they did drop Ebony from last year because of her work on a lingerie football game. So we’ll see. My wife Kristin thought he was really pitchy through the song tonight (and that he has vampire teeth). Maybe his performance will be his undoing and then AI won’t have to do anything. Or maybe they just rig it and let him go as if he was in the bottom 2. This song is funny because most people know it as the Celine Dion song, but she sang it in 1996. This was actually from Meat Loaf. I had no idea who Celine Dion was until she did that duet with Clive Griffin on the “Sleepless in Seattle” soundtrack (When I Fall In Love). Then she became this megastar who had her own show in Vegas. Kristin and I actually saw her in concert at the United Center (yes, I’m admitting I went to a Celine Dion concert; but that’s not my funniest concert experience. Ask me about The Jets concert sometime…) and she’s actually very manly in her movements. She had a great opening act of a guy who did musical impersonations. Think a French Danny Ganz. Back to David. He belted out some notes, which usually draws a reaction from the audience, but some singers do that for effect and it usually makes them feel like they have a better performance than they really did. Was that totally confusing? Randy called it a nice song choice, but he had some pitch problems. Paula said he has some of the best vocals of the group. Simon said it wasn’t as good as last week, but he’s 100% secured a spot in the finals (top 12). Maybe. I think he could be in the bottom 4 tomorrow because it’s pretty tough right now. Everyone is pretty talented.

05 – Michael Johns, Don’t You Forget About Me (Simple Minds)

So, this guy is kinda bugging me now. He seems a bit out of his skin up there with no band. He dances like a guy who can’t dance and does that effeminate hop. It’s painful to watch actually. I think it wouldn’t be as pronounced if he had a band on the stage with him, but when he’s up there alone, it’s weird. He really didn’t do much with the song. But I think the brain, the princess, the jock, the criminal and the basketcase liked it. There have always been rumors of a sequel to the Breakfast Club, but nothing’s ever materialized. Much like Fletch Lives. They might as well make sequels to all the ‘80s teen angst movies. With the same casts. Those are movies I’d find time to watch. Randy mistakenly thought this was an INXS song, as he said Michael “went home for ‘80s week” and compared him to the late Michael Hutchence. Paula said this song defined who he is and Michael has a strength in the low range. Simon liked it, but didn’t love it. He compared him to Carly, in that he’s a good singer but hasn’t found the song to push him over the top yet. The ladies love the Aussie, so he should be safe on Thursday.

06 – David Cook, Hello (Lionel Richie)

Okay, I’ve done a 360 on David now. I like him again. I really liked this version of “Hello.” “Hello” reminds me of 8^th grade dances in garages, where all they played were slow songs. This song was good back then, but what I really remember was that cool music video of the song. My wife Kristin thinks David’s got a Daughtry vibe to him. He’s much more the true rocker than Robbie Carrico ever would dream to be. Randy called it a slightly evil rendition of the extremely pop version. Paula said that she is always in for a surprise when he takes the stage. Simon called it a very brave thing to do, but he loved it. It was unpredictable and it worked. I couldn’t agree more. David should cruise into the top 12 and should make it to the top 5 or 6.

07 – Jason Castro, Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen)

I didn’t know this song (I wondered if it was a Queen song) but I think he did a pretty good job with it. Jason’s definitely a unique talent. I think it bugs me a bit because he looks like a girl with his pretty eyes and long hair. And he makes some funky faces when he sings. Overall I know the chicks dig him and he’ll be safe on Thursday. Randy said it was a great degree of difficulty and gave him props for it. Paula said he made it sound effortless and his phrasing makes him great. Simon called it absolutely brilliant and that he keeps getting better and better and better. I still haven’t heard a performance that I totally loved of Jason’s and still think he pales in comparison to David Archuleta. But Jason will 100% be safe on Thursday.

08 – Chikezie, All The Woman I Need (Luther Vandross)

My buddy Leroy says Chikezie looks like a dead ringer for former Buckeye running back and current criminal, Maurice Clarett. I think Chikezie raids the Boyz II Men closet every week, as he was in motownphilly mode tonight. This was a Luther song, but I mostly remember it as a Whitney song (circa 1990). Randy said it was an interesting song choice but he did a good job with it. Paula said the vocals sounded good tonight (for all the boys). Simon called it more cabaret than last week. I think he’s still pretty good. He may be on the bubble on Thursday. But he should be in the final 12.

Bottom three – Luke, Danny, David Hernandez

Top three – David Cook, David Archuleta, Jason Castro