AI8 recap, Finalists x 11 (03/17/09)

Hey people! Cindi Rutter’s irrepressible husband Jim Rutter here, filling in tonight for J-Dog as the Uras' living room is allegedly being re-carpeted! I sincerely apologize that this longwinded effort is getting out far later that Jason’s usual schedule. It was not my favorite performance of mine! I definitely deserve to be voted off the show.



Ok. So the show opened and the judges came walking out from back stage like they were appearing on Oprah, with a random PA announcer doing the opening intro. Whatever. AI immediately went with some flashy St. Patrick’s Day graphics! Couldn’t help observing that Kara wasn’t (visibly) wearing anything green and definitely deserved a sound pinching - if I wasn’t happily married, I might be just the guy for the job!



Tuesday night was the two-hour “Final 11” show and it featured - yes, once again - a country music theme with either Randy Travis or Travis Tritt in the house as a celebrity guest judge - not 100% sure which it was. Actually, I immediately recognized Randy T. from his outstanding jump-out-of-the-jury-box-and strangle-the-prosecuting attorney cameo role in The Rainmaker. Don’t think I know a single song by Randy, who is so wiry and gaunt, he looks like he just got out of prison, but he has apparently sold 25 million records, so shame on me.



Let’s start out by being unnecessarily mean. I am so glad Von “The Chipmunk” Smith is gone. I couldn’t stand that a-clown, nor did I care much for Ricky Braddy and his “Braddy Bunch”, a pathetic effort at channeling the equally-annoying “Soul Patrol”. At least this week, with revolting drama queen Tatiana history, we were not subjected to anyone singing the very same song they had sung the week before!



Apparently the odds of becoming a superstar are 100,000:1. Good to know. Sounds highly scientific. That Ryan S. is such a smarmy little leprechaun. Seriously, can’t you see him prancing around trying to keep you from stealing his Lucky Charms? I hate the little product-enhanced mountain peak hairdo he sports – almost as much as I abhor rat-tails and mullets.



On to the contestants….



Michael Sarver - “Ain’t Goin’ Down Till the Sun Comes Up” (Girth Brooks – I know, it’s Garth, but it will be “Girth” whenever Sarver is singing his songs)



Quite possibly the “dumpiest” contest in the history of the show. You have to work hard to have that bad a body at that young an age. Michael is a slow, sweaty guy with a very good voice. Not going to sell many tickets. In general, I don’t like “fast” country songs much, although I liked the one Shanaya Twain song about short skirts.



Randy T. approved of the way Michael changed up the song’s melody.



Randy J. said it was a good song choice, but the vocals weren;t great - wasn’t sure it showed off his vocal capabilities.



Kara thought we got to see a lot of his personality, but missed hearing “the big notes.”



At one point and I can’t recall exactly when, Michael counters criticism with “Country music is bout havin’ some fun!”…which made me want him off the show. Havin’ fun is fine, but this is a singing competition, not a hoe-down.



Paula was disappointed not to get the “big notes”, but was impressed he could handle all the words.



Simon complained that he couldn’t understand a word Sarver was singing: “It was a bit clumsy, karaoke.” The tubby teddy bear strikes back weakly with “If we were all perfect we wouldn’t need this show!”



Allison Iraheta - “Blame It on Your Heart” (Patty Loveless)



Can we, as a society, collectively agree to retire the adjective “dope”? Went out with jerry curls, didn’t it?



An impressed Randy Travis thinks she has “great pipes” for someone so young, but warned Allison not to be “too cute” and she wasn’t. Allison is definitely never “too cute”.



Kara says, “You bring your own spin to everything…you’re getting better and better.’ Everyone is entitled to an opinion, even if they are wearing laminated sharkskin.



Paula calls her performance “rock-solid” and predicted a career in the business, but cautions her to pick different songs to show variety in her vocal range. Thinks Allison is “an amazing artist.”



Simon thought it was good, but a little “tuneless” in parts, bordering on “precocious”, then backtracks to “precocious in a good way!”



Randy says, “I thought it was dope.” [See my previous abhorrence of that word.]



Kris Allen - “To Make You Feel My Love” (Garth Brooks)



Kris is definitely not to be confused with Krista Allen, a super-hot previously former (and allegedly current) “actress” girlfriend of George Clooney, who we are guessing has been made to feel George’s love. (Sorry, but it wasn’t my song choice!)



Guitar-free and perched on a chair, Kris does very well. Gained some points with me. Has a little Paul Simon in him. Sang it like he meant it.



Paula was “pleasantly surprised.” Thought the performance was honest, pure and vulnerable.



Simon thought it was “terrific…not over the top” and said he was beginning to think Kris has “a shot of doing well in this competition.”



Randy says, “Tender moments from my dawg, Kris” Immediately starts calling him “TenderDawg” or “Tender Puppy” either of which bugs me.



Kara says, “It was very Kris Allen”, which is so very “Kara Whateverhernameis”. Wasn’t there a chicks’ moisturizing cream commercial about “Keri is so very”? Some ad firm got paid for that?



Lil Rounds - “Independence Day” (Martina McBride)



The stage name, “Lil Rounds” is a bit too “porny” for my taste - kind of like “Kim Kurves” or “Monica Mounds”. Lil sure looked better this time out. She admits she’s only knows country songs from the movies, but was committed to giving it a shot without re-crafting it into an R& B version as one might expect from her. Not sure it was a great move, but you have to admire her effort. It was like asking Scott MacIntyre to sing something by Arrested Development. Probably not in the cards from the get-go.



Randy said the performance got better after she hit her power range.



Kara says, “We all know you’re a great singer. You’d have to be deaf to not know you are a good singer. We got the Lil we know in the second half.” Kara also gives her props for “standing her ground” and trying to go legit country.



Paula, as always, says she looks beautiful, “It would have worked better if you didn’t sing two verses.” Good point – that clearly put a damper on Lil's effort.



Simon mockingly refers to Lil as “Little” and is apparently trying to be a tool. For Simon, it came over like someone who was being forced to sing a bad song at a wedding.



Adam Lambert - “Ring of Fire” (Johnny Cash/Willie Nelson)



OK, now personally, I strongly prefer the outstanding sped-up, edgy version of this song by semi-punk 90s band Social Distortion, which Adam could have killed.



So I understand there was some uproar last week over photos of Lambert “interacting” with other males. Whatever. I admit to owning several Erasure and Bronksi Beat CDs from the mid-80s and I wasn’t focused on their personal lives. I can only assume embarrassing photos of those fellas would have been making their way around the web if it had been as prevalent back in the day. If you can sing, you sing.



Still, with the way he works the camera, I still think Adam has the makings of a “21st century Elvis”, not that that would get him nearly as far these days. Personally, I think he should have been more of a metal guy. Adam definitely has some Klaus Meine (Scorpions) and some Axl Rose in his menacing high notes. His personal style seems a hybrid of Adam Ant, Rod Stewart, and the creepy androgynous guy Pete Burns from 80s band Dead or Alive). If he was on Rock Star: GNR and sang “You Could Be Mi-YEE-yne” and “Rock You Like a Hurrica-AAAAAne”, and then blew through Van Halen’s “Panama”, the intriguing little heathen would win going away. The eye make-up our contemporary Elvis wears is a bit much, but hey, so was Rueben’s waistline and he won, right?



As David Cook proved last season, it isn’t hard to find alternative versions of popular songs these days. If you spend enough time on iTunes, you can find the MeowMix cat chorus doing “Stairway to Heaven”. True story: You can even get lullaby versions of AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell” – I brought it home once from the Redwood City library.



Randy Travis was a bit scared - admits he isn’t used to seeing men with nail polish. Adam probably does a lot of things Randy isn’t used to seeing men do (Zing!) Randy admits he doesn’t see Adam as a future Grand Ole Opry member.



I loved the way he defiantly flipped country night the verbal bird. Great stage presence, plus unique vocals and style. Very strange, slow version middle-eastern vibe, but in a good way. Guy likes to mix it up, which is fun. Could have been a long, lost number from the Rocky Horror Picture Show, which should be his fall-back career path. His version might be right for the next opening theme for a James Bond movie – with writhing shadow figures. Wait, they don’t do those openings in Bond movies anymore, do they? Oh well…



It left Kara both “confused” and “happy” and perhaps a bit flushed.



Paula says, “You are true to who you are as an artist. You’re raising your own bar each week.”



Simon echoed Randy Jackson asking, “What the HELL was that? Warned that Adam should never go to the city of Nashville, where presumably he would be likely to get either biblically stoned, gay-bashed or burned at the stake.



Cowell said “There are lots of people throwing their TV sets out the window. Called it “Indulgent…Horrific!” Simon was wrong on this one.



Ryan says something like “It’s current, it’s young, it’s hot!” as if he would know. Nine Inch Nails goes country.



Scott MacIntyre - “Wild Angels” (Martina McBride)

Personally, I hated this song and its chorus more than the actual performance. I am cool with “Wild Horses” and “Calling All Angels”, but you mash them up and I just don’t get the lyrical intent. What the heck is a wild angel? What am I missing? Would prefer Wild Turkeys!



Ok, I will ask the big question…. if Mr. MacIntyre wasn’t visually-impaired, would he still be in the competition? I, for one, don’t think so. Operatic tenor Andrea Bocelli is amazing whether he is blind or not. Don’t send hate mail – I actually like nice guy/great story Scott, but sorry, the next Stevie “Finger Tips” Wonder he is not. I keep waiting for him to break out the “Greatest American Hero” theme, which would at least be funny. Honestly, I want him to have success, but I can’t imagine actually downloading one of Scott’s songs – even if it was free. And sorry, call me gender discriminatory, but it sometimes seems a bit dicey when dudes keep singing songs so clearly associated with a female.



Randy Travis is initially concerned with Scott’s choice. Tells him to speed it up and Scott does. Sorry, but mediocre adult soft rock like John Denver/Christopher Cross/Dan Fogelberg is not the style America currently wants.



Paula says, “To me tonight was another impressive, lovely performance. You work harder than most people on the stage!” She thinks Scott’s piano may have become a crutch and that he needs to switch things up, show more, etc.



Nasty Simon calls Paula’s comments “stupid” and urges him not to shy away from his piano. Randy agrees that the piano works. Simon says, “I don’t think you’re choosing the right songs.”



For Randy, it’s isn’t the songs – he is still looking for those “crazy vocals” from Scott



Kara says, “We want you to up your game a little bit. You bring class and poise to that stage.” Everyone agrees. Scott says he promises to sing piano-free if America will just let him stick around. I am getting really tired of these kids appealing to America to keep them around for another week. Sing to the music and then face it (the music), don’t beg.



Alexis Grace - “Jolene” (Dolly Parton) –

OK, Jason can back me up that I was writing to him last week calling her a “Dolly Parton without the buxom bosom” and wouldn’t you know, here she comes with a vintage DP song!

Photogenic little thing, isn’t she? But this one didn’t work too well. No great surprise when Alexis discloses she loves country music. Tonight, the falsetto was off.



Randy notes a bunch of pitch problems, stating that it wasn’t a great performance.



Kara says, “I think you lost your edge a bit!”



Paula is more kind: “You took an artistic approach - you were able to tell a story from beginning to end. Good choice.” Said she didn’t care about the pitch problems. WHAT? Aren’t they always saying AI is a singing competition? How can that not matter to you, Paula?



Simon said “I thought it was OK, a little bit ‘sound-alike’, which amazingly Alexis didn’t seem to understand. Simon also said he thought this performance would be forgotten in 10 minutes. Alexis meekly hoped it wouldn’t be. She promised to dirty it up. No argument here.



Danny Gokey - “Jesus, Take the Wheel” (Carrie Underwood)

Please stop doing songs by past winners! That’s just stone cold lame in my opinion! C’mon, D, there are thousands of songs out there and you sang “Jesus, take the wheel”? I would have preferred “How Great Thou Art” to a gratuitous suck-up song (Carrie is performing on Wed’s show I think)



…and that last name “Gokey” has to go doesn’t it? Rhymes with “Hokey” and “Pokey”, which in my book is just not good….unless you go ahead and hyphenate them and now you’d be talkin’! Interesting question though, does being on AI prevent you from marketing yourself under an improved stage name? Has anyone actually changed their name once they have been on the show? I guess “Fantasia” has dropped her “Barrino” surname for the most part and Daughtry’s “Chris” rarely gets trotted out anymore. Not that he is particularly relevant, but “Chikezie” seems to have abandoned his last name “Eze”! Look, I will only start diggin’ Chikezie “Eye-chart” Eze if he agrees to sing The Commodores’ classic 70s tune “Easy”. Dude was born to sing “That’s why I’m ‘Eze’…I’m ‘Eze’ like Sunday mornin’!”



Danny starts off clumsy and nervous in front of Mr. Travis, and blows the words about six times. Eventually Travis pays him a very nice compliment – “Man, a soulfulness most of us who make a living as a singer wish we had” Nice.



Still, unquestionably an off-night for front-running “Danny Boy”, which was surprising since he should have benefitted from St, Patrick’s Day luck. Decent performance, but his performance bar has been set high and this one clearly lowered his gathering invincibility.



His inexplicable wardrobe decision indicates he has pretty poor judgment. It looked like a Safari Edition Member’s Only jacket most likely to be seen worn by the late Harvey Korman while playing a deposed South American dictator on a cruise ship on reruns of the Carol Burnett Show. Geek-chic doesn’t work for me.



Kara says, “When you hit your stride it’s like none other.” Says the front half wasn’t spectacular. Wishes she had 10 more minutes of his power notes.



Ms. Abdul says, “I love when artists build a story…I think you were brilliant.” Thinks Carrie Underwood would buy that record.



Simon isn’t sure about Carrie buying Danny’s record, but agrees “the Goke” was pretty good. Simon expressed hatred for the ghastly outfit, as did we all.



Randy wasn’t really diggin’ Danny tonight either, says verses were a bit pitchy.



Anoop Desai - “You Were Always on My Mind” (Willie Nelson)

Wow, at first I was worried, and not just that Anoop is getting his hair cut at SuperCuts or that he paired white shoes with tan khakis. One of the judges counseled “Anoop Dog” during “Michael Jackson Week” (of which I do not approve, by the way) after he took a chance (and suffered a severe smack-down) on “Beat It”, that it can be very tough to take on a song so closely associated with another artist. Indeed, it is very easy to come off as “karaoke” as I do whenever I try to take on Free lead singer Paul Rogers and his anthemic version of “All Right Now” (“anthemic may not be an official word, but if it’s good enough for the Urban Dictionary, I figure I can label as “racist” anyone who dares to question it!).



I was worried it would be too hard to pull off a Johnny Cash classic made far more famous in a signature version by Willie Nelson: “You Were Always on My Mind” (which I happen to have on my triple-CD Country Music Hall of Fame collection that I personally picked up at the CMHOF in Nashville while driving back across the country from graduate school in my fire-engine-red Fiero in the summer of ‘89! Yes, I now recognize how embarrassing that is to admit to today, but that iconic mid-engine car had speakers in the head rests, replaceable plastic body panels, and an incredible center of gravity. Too bad the Fieros took after their name and spontaneously burst into flame about as frequently as Pintos). Now if Anoop had let his beard grow all week, avoided showering, donned a sweaty red bandana, tacked on braided extensions, and evaded some federal taxes, he would have impressed me a lot more on this song.



Still, you would never guess this guy was of Indian decent. Close you eyes and listen and he sounds like an R&B singer.



Paula says, “Anoop is back!” and that he “touched her heart.”



Simon delivers a pre-rehearsed line, “You’ve just managed to go from zero to hero…good choice of song. One of my favorite performances of the night - I take it back you deserve to be in this show!”



Randy Jackson says, “This is why we really wanted you in the competition. Arrangement was dope!” [Please, stop that!]



Kara called it one of those “untouchable songs”, but that Anoop pulled it off and provided the biggest surprise of the night.”



Megan Joy Corkrey - “Walking After Midnight” (Patsy Cline)

Poor girl was so obviously hit hard with the flu, it was pretty amazing she could sing at all. Randy Travis was initially worried about her unique notes. The gravity of her illness was no exaggeration – she looked truly miserable out there on stage. Couldn’t even fake a smile in the closing credits. At first I thought it was a joke – her version sounded like it was intended as a novelty record, but it got better.



Probably picked up the flu while posing poolside for her highly-anticipated upcoming pin-up poster! No, not in the works yet, but you see, I am thinking Megan may be a 21st-century edition of Farrah Fawcett. I can see the undeniably stunning Megan, with her flowing blonde hair and perfectly-straight set of 116 Pepsodent-worthy white teeth, slipping into a burnt-orange one-piece and posing for the classic Farrah poster that I and every other teenage boy I knew had on his bedroom wall back in ‘76 when the feather-haired Charlie’s Angels’ star was the “it” girl. A still –all-time-record 12,000,000 of those posters were sold. Amazing, wasn’t it? One modest little semi-nipple shot was enough to slay an entire sector of American society! Today you get more skin than that on Desperate Doctors or whatever that Grey’s Anatomy spin-off is that my wife watches. Did you know that the Texas-bred Farrah, who like my wife is a Tri-Delt, was born “Ferrah” and had a father of Lebanese decent ? “Farah” (with a single “r”) apparently means “joy” in Lebansese. Hey, Megan’s middle name happens to be “Joy”. Coincidence…. or conspiracy? Pretty much willing to bet Megan does not have a single drop of middle-eastern blood in her body. Anyway, “MJ” would be good to go for the poster were it not for one tiny little issue. Hmmmm, could it be the entire arm-encompassing tattoo of a magic castle complete with princess and the prince Megan apparently hopes to meet someday? Man, this girl could defeat Maude Adams in an ink-off with one arm –tied behind her back, the tatt-free one. The last time I was wishing so hard for something to be a “sleeve” it involved barbeque-flavored Pringles.



I am going to save all y’all some valuable time and let you know right now that after the recent run on the market, “faux full-arm flesh-toned tattoo sleeves” are on currently sold out and on back order on one of my favorite shopping destinations: http://www.thingsyouneverknew.com/product/thingstowear/oddaccessories/celtic+%26+japanese+tattoo+sleeves.do?WT.svl=80444



Bottom line: Don’t underestimate the “hot factor” on Megan Joy. In addition to being “quirky”, she is ridiculously pretty and that works strongly in her favor.



Travis, who sure comes across as a genuine, good guy on the show, calls it “totally unique.”



Randy liked the choice: “I was quite impressed. It actually really worked.”



Kara gave her props: “Perfect song - Perfect look.” Kara seemed as impressed as I was that she was able to sing despite being sicker than a dog.



Paula explains that Megan wasn’t present at the run-thru because she was at the hospital. Called her “a fighter, a consummate pro.”



Simon likes her, but mails it in: “You should have the flu every week!” Simon worries the stylists are sucking away her quirky style.



Matt Giraud - “So Small ” – (Carrie Underwood)

Simon or someone had made a comparison to Taylor Hicks last week. It is a little disconcerting when Taylor Hicks is starring in a production of the musical Grease. Can we really see Taylor scoring a cute high school exchange student?



Big “arrow-up” on Matt Girard and not just because he may be distantly related to Cindi’s best friend Tiffany’s husband Dave Girouard. He just seems so natural and comfortable on stage, as does Kris Allen. The guy comes across as a “performer” as opposed to a “contestant” in a singing competition. I am warming to his skills.



For what possible reason was Paula sniffing Simon Cowell’s arm? Don’t really want to know.

Matt’s is once again working the piano and doing the soulful thing. Not perfect on the vocals and those unnecessary falsettos at the end of songs bug me, but all in all he was really engaging.



Miss Kara gushes “Amazing!”



Paula says, “Your authenticity and honesty is unparalleled tonight.”



Simon doesn’t think Matt has been given enough credit in the competition and that Matt “outsang” Danny Gokey on this night, comparing him (quite generously) to Michael Buble’.



Randy Jackson says it was his favorite performance of the night: “You got mad skills” or something like that.



Yes, he does and I have moved him into the upper-half based on this performance.



What We Learned:

There is no clear dominance this season. So, who are the current front-runners? Adam Lambert is pretty darn mesmerizing. He also is what he is, which his parents have known for years. He is also very dynamic and has charisma to spare, but the question is whether American can… go there.



Lil Rounds has been stalling a bit, but just needs better song options and she’ll be right back at the top. Needs to defend herself a little less, sing more R&B (imagine if she took on “Think” by Aretha Franklin? Lights out!)



I thought Alexis and Danny came back to the pack a bit on this night. Kris Allen is awfully good and probably can have success as a recording artist, but I just don’t see him as likely to be the people’s choice. Matt could be a dark horse and emerge late like David Cook.



My Bottom Three: If I were a judge, I would drop Michael, Scott or even Allison at this point. Actually, check that, I would jettison all three right now. No way can any of those survive to the end, which I can’t safely predict about any of the others yet.



Sorry this is arriving so late in the afternoon and that it went so ridiculously long – probably longer than last night's program itself. Never been known for brevity. Cheers, mates! Good on ya!