AI4 recap, Semi-Finalists, Guys x 10 (02/28)

AI4 recap, Semi-Finalists, Guys x 10 (02/28)

Okay, just so you know. I don’t “recap” the results (AKA announce the loser) show. But I usually comment on it in the recap for the next week, as I will do now.

Melinda Lira being the first off. She was absolutely stunned. She was very pitchy in her performance, but did get compliments on how she may have the best voice in the show. She complained that she wasn’t a focus of the audition shows and no one got to know her. That argument holds a little bit of water, but then my wife pointed out that Kelly Clarkson didn’t get no run (my words, not hers) in AI the Original either. America didn’t get to know her until she crept up on the competition and won the thing. I think that Melinda was thinking that she was safe because of the terrible performance that the other girl (Janay) she was up there with had given. Janay was the one who I described as having Tourette’s-like motions, then went on to describe autism (Rain Man reference). So it wasn’t bad enough that I was making fun of one affliction, but compounded the error by making fun of a completely different condition. So, if it hasn’t totally been decided if I’m going north or south when it’s all said and done, I’ll cement the decision with this comment. I could’ve also said that she was making Parkinson’s movements. So there, now I’m going on a Fast Pass to Hell. I guess if you’re going to go, there’s no use in waiting. Speaking of Parkinson’s, was anyone else frightened to death when Muhammad Ali was carrying that torch in the ’96 Olympics in Atlanta? Now it’s time for my athlete/famous person pseudo-apology. You know, the “I didn’t mean to offend anyone, but if I did, I’m sorry” one. Believe me, if you have to start out with “I didn’t mean to offend anyone…” you’ve sufficiently offended someone. Probably a lot of someones. So I guess I take back the apology because I really knew that I’d be offending people.

Jared Yates was no surprise in getting the boot. It was brutal when Seacrest asked Simon if he had any constructive advice for him and Simon blankly stared ahead and simply said, “no.” I don’t think that Jared even finished his song. I can’t wait for the time when a contestant says, “no Ryan, I just lost. I’m emotional and I can’t sing right now.” Oh wait that DID happen when Christina Christian got eliminated in the first season and was “sick” for the results show.

Sarah Mather was bad. Glad she got the boot.

Judd Harris had the best attitude of all the ones voted off. He said, “it is what it is.” He really wasn’t much of a singer as an entertainer though. My buddy Mikey really despised him and thought that he belonged on a float or something with all of that dancing around. Mike was going to post a comment on the blog (http://airecaps.blogspot.com) but it was making him register then it didn’t work out. I’d love for any of you to post comments on there, as long as it’s not a long and arduous process…

I gotta tell you, that results show was crazy. Seacrest was pulling a Jim Gray and being real mean to the kids as they got voted off. He was almost smug about it. Almost felt like he was enjoying giving the bad news. Not empathetic at all. I think that this group of 24 (now 20) are much closer and they’ve formed more friendships than the past seasons. Partly because last year, it was 4 groups of 8 and they voted 2 through each week (plus one wild card that America picked and 1 each from the judges). There were tears like mad last week and Wednesday night should be no different.

My wife commented that the judges shouldn’t really be assessing the results show with “it just wasn’t good enough” but rather “the competition is stiff.” I really think that the remaining 20 are all about where we were in the final 6 last season. I couldn’t say final 12 because Finchy, JPL and Leah LaBelle were all finalists and none of them can hold a torch to even the 4 that were already eliminated.

On to tonight. Just a note, the girls seemed way more relaxed tonight compared to last week. Sorry this is late, but my wife is traveling for work right now. So, not only do you not get her comments, but I also don’t have my “ear for music” with me and I was helping my mom put our son to sleep and consequently missed the first half of the show. It was TiVo-ed, so I watched it all, but I’m starting a half an hour later. It may be even later tomorrow night… I miss my wife :(

01 – Mario Vazquez, I Love Music? (artist unknown)
Mario was wearing a fedora, a white one to compliment (?) his white blazer. All this over a yellow t-shirt with jeans and some cool sneaks. Good performance, but he does give a cheesy smile to the camera sometimes. He’s still one of my favorites though. Randy said he’s got it going on, but wants to hear more with his voice. Paula said it was good, but she, too, is looking for more. Simon said that he looks like he’s been doing this for years and doesn’t really need their advice. I voted for Mario tonight. I’m looking forward to better things from him in the competition.

02 – Anwar Robinson, What’s Going On (Marvin Gaye)
The music teacher came out with a camouflage jacket on. I almost didn’t see him up there. Okay stop booing, that wasn’t THAT bad of a joke. Nice upbeat performance. I like Anwar. I voted for him tonight. Randy said that he worked it out and had great control of his voice. Paula said the stepped it up and that he has amazing tone to his voice. She also called him technically, the best vocalist of the competition. Simon said he sounded fantastic. I don’t have to tell you this. I’m a fan of his. Which I can’t really say about…

03 – Joseph Murena, Let’s Stay Together (Al Green)
First off, he’s got a five-head. Bigger than a forehead. It’s a five-head. Like Christina Ricci. Or Tyra Banks. Joe reminds me of a young Armand Assante. Or like TAPer Eugenio Gabella. Take your pick. Joe comes out in a pleated tux shirt that is open almost to his naval. Big lapels and a black blazer. Was he singing at the local piano bar after the competition? I thought it was very “lounge-y.” Randy said he was waiting for one note or run to distinguish him, but it never came. Paula said it was a classy performance and better than last week (did he suck that bad last week?). Simon said that it reminded him of a song in a Portuguese night club in ’74. Basically, it didn’t differentiate him in the competition, which is what AI is all about. I did not vote for Joseph tonight. Shocker.

04 – David Brown, title unknown (Stevie Wonder)
All I could focus on was the Yankees bling watch that he had on. I liked the kid from the auditions, but he hasn’t done much to move me in the last few weeks. The song was inaudible at the beginning and then it seemed like he was screaming at parts in the middle. Randy said it was better than last week, but still pitchy. Paula hopes that the best is yet to come. Simon said that he’s left the sparkle behind that they saw in the auditions. He could be on the bubble on Wednesday.

05 – Constantine Maroulis, Light Your Candle? (unknown)
Gosh I know this song. Anyway, Constantine does his best rocker performance, which is wearing a little thin on me. He places screams in there at times which makes me think that he may actually need some Preparation H (which leads to the question, what happened to Preparations A-G?). He also gives his signature “open one side of his jacket” move. That’s up there with the George Huff towel throw as far as I’m concerned. And how many bracelets does Constantine have on? I see the yellow “Live Strong” one, but then there are others. I was a Jamba Juice the other day and one of the workers had 6 different color bracelets on. That’s great that she was supportive of all of those causes, but you know what? Pick one and go with it. Randy said that he was much better than last week but was still a bit pitchy. I’m guessing that the eventual AI4 winner will not be described as “pitchy.” The competition is too great for a “pitchy” singer to win. Paula said that he owned the stage. Simon said that he doesn’t think that he’s a good singer and he wonders if the crowd is cheering for his voice or his theatrics? I think he’s on the bubble Wednesday too. If Constantine is eliminated now, it will save him the embarrassment of having to sing a Motown song when that theme inevitably comes up. So he’s got that going for him.

06 – Scott Savol, song title unknown (Luther Vandross)
What happened to Seacrest saying the title of the song before the contestant sings it? Scott comes out with those smoke tinted shades and a large shirt with a double button collar. Looks good. Comes out with the Abe Lincoln beard. He sure does have a sweet sounding voice. Randy said it was alright, but he hasn’t lived up to what they heard in his auditions yet. Paula said that he brought it on and was on pitch. Simon agreed with Paula. I think Scott is on the fence for Wednesday too. My cousin Stacy said Scott looks like the guy from Full Metal Jacket. Upon further review, that guy was Vincent D’Onofrio and the character’s name was Private Gomer Pyle/Leonard Lawrence. Vincent gained 70 pounds for the part. DeNiro gained 60 to play Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull. You may know D’Onofrio from his role in Law & Order: Criminal Intent or even earlier in his career as Lily Taylor’s boyfriend/husband in Mystic Pizza.

07 – Travis Tucker, All Night Long (All Night) (Lionel Richie)
Can’t forget the song title in the parenthesis. I really like Travis. He comes out all G’ed up in a yellow shirt that is unbuttoned and a wife beater underneath. His voice was shaking a bit at the beginning, probably because he knew how much dancing he was going to be doing while singing the song. He does the snake, the Usher moonwalk and the New Edition slide. I was waiting for a Running Man and a transition to a Reebok… But seriously, he gave a pretty good performance. Randy gave him “big ups” for coming back from last week. Paula said ditto and was proud of him. Simon said he’s not the best singer, but a born performer. Travis looks like someone. Like and NBA player. I was thinking Steve Smith, but Steve has a longer, thinner face. Travis will not win the competition. He’s not a strong enough singer. But he will last until the final 12 and, because of his charisma and showmanship, maybe the top 6. He could’ve been top 4 last year, but not this year. I voted for Travis tonight.

08 – Nikko Smith, Let’s Get It On (Marvin Gaye)
Nikko is smooth, like his father taking a grounder up the middle. He comes out in all black (blazer, pants, shirt). Big belt buckle. No fedora tonight. Really got into the song. Good performance. Randy said that no matter what song you sing, you need to sing the song. It made more sense when he said it. Paula was so taken by the performance, that she couldn’t speak. That was a good thing. Simon said it was a 1000% improvement, but his only downside is that he looks like Bobby Brown. No Simon, actually, he looks like Ozzie Smith. For future reference, when I refer to Nikko’s dad, I’ll just write Ozzie. Are we clear on this? For the record, Ozzy Osbourne is spelled with a “y” and not an “ie.” Back to the Bobby Brown reference. What really went on when he left New Edition? Was it a good move or not? He did refer to himself (or was it Whitney that referred to him?) as the “King of Soul.” Remember when Bobby did the little rap interlude during “Every Little Step?” How cool was that? When I first got that tape (this was before CDs were in) it had the first song as “Cruel Prelude” and I thought it was going to be song about the car (Prelude). Then I figured out that it was just the instrumental intro to “Don’t Be Cruel.” Nice. This was a great album by the way. Don’t Be Cruel. My Prerogative. Roni. Rock Wit’cha. Every Little Step. Ralph Tresvant was the voice of New Edition and his solo venture was weak compared to Bobby Brown’s. And then remember the ill-fated Bell Biv Devoe? Everyone knew Michael Bivins couldn’t sing. I was a huge New Edition fan and got all the tapes (including Johnny Gill). I think my favorite was NE Heartbreak, when they sounded so grown up. Then again, compared to Candy Girl & Popcorn Love, anything would sound more grown up. And remember Iesha from ABC (Another Bad Creation)? Okay, back to Nikko. He’s good. He should make it to the finals. I voted for Nikko.

09 – Anthony Federov, I Want To Know What Love Is (Foreigner)
Love Foreigner. One of the rockers needs to sing “Juke Box Hero.” How classic would that be? Anthony came out with jeans that looked like a piranha had just gotten a hold of them. But this kid can sing. He has such a pure voice and gave a powerful performance. It was nice too, as he acknowledged the girls upon completion of his performance. Randy said he didn’t know what to think when the song first started but he worked it out. Paula said that he raised his game (get a new phrase) and he kicked it into a different gear (see previous parenthetical statement). Simon called it a fantastic job. He’s been called the Clay Aiken and he’s handling it well, saying that he hopes to achieve what Clay has by the end of the competition. Nice kid. He should make the finals. I voted for Anthony.

10 – Bo Bice, don’t know, don’t care (Allman Brothers Band)
Bo came out in all brown. Maybe this was the UPS uniform in the ‘70s? Very Jim Morrison-like. Very rocker-ish. A lot of theatrics. A lot of hair flying around. I know people like Bo. I get that. He’s just not my cup of tea. For one, he looks way too old. He is such a rocker that I don’t know if he’ll be able to conform for all the themes that they are going to throw at him. Randy loved it. Paula said he’s the real deal. Simon said that his performance blew the others away, like Fantasia or LaToya from last year. I just don’t see it.

So, I think the final 6 for the guys will be: Mario, Anwar, Bo, Anthony, Travis, Nikko

I hope you don’t mind these. It’s been described by Connie Carillo as a “running commentary in my head.” Which is totally accurate. No one knows that better than my wife. I write as I would talk (or as I think). That’s just the way it comes out. It’s disjointed at times and sometimes you have to figure out when I’m done with a tangent. So, I apologize in advance for those little things. They will happen. I do this in real life too. I’ll be thinking about something in my head, then talk about it, not realizing that the person receiving it (usually my wife) is not privy to the thoughts in my head. She’s used to it by now. I miss my wife. :(

That’s it for now. Back in 24 hours or so.