AIVI recap, Finalists x 8 (04/10)

Thanks again to Mikey for picking me up last week. Gina Glocksen gone. Kind of a shocker because she wasn’t horrible last week. And she was very nice in her exit interview. She was shocked that she was gone, but was very diplomatic.

This week is Latin week w/ JLo. Didn’t Dan Quayle once say that he needed to brush up on his Latin because he was going to visit Latin America? What an ascension to the top that JLo had. Former Fly Girl, turned vocal star and actress. A Triple Threat in the true sense of the phrase. She was a great mentor this week. I love her because she’s Latina, but also from the Bronx. And both of them come out when she talks and how she acts. I think I first saw her in “Money Train” with Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson. We used to play one of her songs “Let’s Get Loud” before the tip at Bulls games.

Even before I saw the show I knew this would be a tough night for the singers because none of them have Latino roots. Only Anthony Federov could’ve pulled this off. Remember him from a few years back? The guy who had the tracheotomy as a kid and looked like his airpipe was going to blow at any second? He had an affinity for Latin music, even though he was Ukranian. I saw Anthony and Carmen Rasmussen on a Reality Fear Factor. They did surprisingly well, finishing in second to Trishelle and Mike “The Miz” from The Real World. So tonight will be “just survive” night for the contestants. And Ryan throws in a “Top Ocho” comment. Ocho always reminds me of Kobe Bryant, as he liked to be referred to as “Ocho” because his number was 8. Then he goes and changes to 24 this year. I hear that he wore the #8 originally because that was Mike D’Antoni’s number on his team in Italy (where Kobe grew up because his dad played professionally there). Mike D’Antoni is currently the coach of the Phoenix Suns. There was a theory a few years back that Kobe would go to the Nuggets to play for D’Antoni (he was previously the coach there) because he wanted to have his own team (this was back when Shaq was with the Lakers) and prove that he could win without Shaq. Sorry, I digressed.

On to the singers.

01 – Melinda, Sway

I think JLo sang this in the American version of “Shall We Dance,” which was an okay movie, but the casting was odd. If you ever saw the original version, which was in Japanese, the American version pales in comparison. It was like they were just going through the motions, but I never bought into the movie. I felt a connection with the Japanese version, but I think that they miscast the American one. Jennifer Lopez was okay as the dance instructor, but Richard Gere was horrible. Stanley Tucci was okay as his friend but the original guy in the Japanese version was priceless (and he looked like Ray Cahambing). Anyway, JLo wanted Melinda to be sultry and sexy in this version, which Miss Doolittle claims that she is “so not sexy.” I thought she did well with the song and looked very classy in her black dress. I think that my favorite part of her songs is when she basks in the glow of the applause when she’s done. You get a feeling that having applause directed at her is a completely new thing to her. And I dig that. Randy called it a solid performance. Paula called it very sultry and smooth. Simon finally said that he didn’t like it. He thought the song was all about personality and she made it sound very cabaret. This will be a recurring theme for me tonight. What do you expect out of Latin night? Melinda was still spot on tonight and she may not have wowed, but she was still one of the best, especially with the limiting theme.

02 – LaKisha, Conga

Kiki asked JLo for help with her movements with the song. JLo gladly obliged. Have I mentioned that I think JLo is gorgeous? Especially when she smiles. LaKisha was okay tonight, but she doesn’t sing well with movement. She needs to stand in one place and just wail. Her red dress with the flames made me think of the professional wrestler, Bam Bam Bigelow. This song just didn’t work for me. LaKisha’s got soul, but that didn’t translate to the Latin beat. Randy said she was having a good time and that it was hot. Paula called it “safe LaKisha.” Simon (amazingly) agreed with Paula. I guess it’s amazing because Paula was right. He said it wasn’t a singer’s song and that the dancing was not good. I don’t know what it is with LaKisha. I like her, but I don’t like like her. I think that she’ll come in fourth behind Melinda, Jordin and Sanjaya. Just a hunch.

03 – CRich, Smooth

It’s kinda funny that this song is sung by Rob Thomas of Matchbox Twenty because I think that Justin Timberlake sometimes sounds like him. And CRich is all about looking like JT. His wardrobe especially. You know how women will tear pages out of People or US Weekly or Cosmo, etc and bring it into a beauty salon and tell the stylist to give me the “Rachel” or the “Victoria Beckham,” etc? I think CRich, goes to wardrobe and says give me the Justin Timberlake on the Grammys look. Or the Saturday Night Live look, second song. I think he started rough at the beginning, but ended well. Randy said he did a very good job and it was very cool. Paula called it a hot performance. Simon preferred it to the first two because it was contemporary. CRich should be safe tomorrow, but shouldn’t make it past the top 5.

04 – Haley, Turn The Beat Around

I thought that it was cool that they used Blake to beat box the beat for her in the rehearsals. Haley can be summed up with the ZZ Top song, “Legs.” Because she’s got them and she knows how to use them. But they’re really not THAT nice. She just seems to show them all the time. I guess it’s working because she’s still around. I thought she looked a bit like Liv Tyler tonight, but not as pretty. And she had trouble getting around in those heels tonight too. Randy called it really karaoke. Paula said it wasn’t a singer’s song (biting Simon’s phrase), but she had fun up there. Simon said she has a good tactic. She wears the least amount of clothes as possible because she can’t do well based on her voice. It’s funny that he actually acknowledged it. And what could she say? I think that I read on the USA Today’s Idol Chatter blog that she was given that advice (to wear less clothing and show off her legs) by Jennifer Warren a few weeks back. Haley can exit any week now, as far as I’m concerned.

05 – Phil, Maria Maria

He did another Santana song, this one sung by The Project G&B. Does Santana sing at all? Or just play a mean guitar? I know that he has these two songs and also “The Game of Love” with Michelle Branch. And his 1999 release “Supernatural” had a ton of guest vocals. Or is that his deal? Others sing? Anyway, Phil became the first male contest to dress like a Prevacid 30mg capsule this season with this black coat and pink shirt. It bugs me that he wears his hats over his ears though. Decent vocals, but he just doesn’t stand out for me. Randy said that he didn’t connect with the passion of the song. Paula called it a good vocal. Simon said there was no originality and that it was lifeless and flat. I’d say that Phil could be gone tomorrow, but he’s basically been in the bottom 3 every week and still gets by. It’ll catch up to him eventually. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe not. But he will go soon.

06 – Jordin, Rhythm Is Gonna Get You

I dug her Inspector Gadget top tonight. And did she get that ponytail from a kiosk at the mall? Just kidding, y’all. You know that I love me some Jordin Sparks. She’s my favorite to be the runner up to Melinda in the finale. Randy said that she’s got it and that the “yo factor was on blast.” Paula called her so authentic and adorable. Simon called it, like the rest of tonight, an okay performance. Seriously though, what do you expect on such an extreme theme night? She should be safe tomorrow, but you never know. Almost forgot to mention (my wife Kristin reminded me) that Jordin loves music of the ‘80s. A girl after my own heart!

07 – Blake, I Need To Know

Funny that he picked her husband Marc Anthony’s song. And how about how Marc swooped in and got JLo after Bennifer broke up? I always thought Bennifer was an odd couple. But is there ever a formula for a Hollywood couple to work? Other than the “contract” that Tom Cruise’s agent sets up for him to appear married and straight? Rumor has it that Travolta has the same deal… Is that a Scientology thing or what? Anyway, Blake came out in the CRich wardrobe tonight. I actually thought that he was the marshall of the Stanfurd Band. And is that the biggest shocker ever that Stanfurd has the wacko band and Cal has the rigid marching band? You’d think that Cal, that bastion of anarchy, would have the band that doesn’t do formations and basically embarrasses their school every time they perform. But no, Cal Band Great. Go figure. Randy called it the best song choice of the night and a hot performance. Paula called it a very smart performance. Simon called it the best choice and best performance. Were they all pandering to JLo? I thought it was boring. I still think Blake’s the strongest guy, but he may not outlast Sanjaya.

08 – Sanjaya, Besame Mucho

Is it me or did this sound like a song out of a Disney movie? Maybe something Ursula would’ve sang in The Little Mermaid? And did Sanjaya actually grow that goatee or was it penciled in? He wasn’t horrible tonight, but than again, he’s Sanjaya and I don’t think his performances ever influence the votes. Randy called him the smartest contestant and that he was actually pretty good. Paula called it smooth and nice. Simon said he couldn’t understand a word he sang, that it was sung like a 14 year old and that it wasn’t horrible. I don’t know what to say about him anymore. I didn’t really hear his “Welcome to the universe of Sanjaya” comment last week, partly because I zone out on Sanjaya and also because he talks so softly that I can’t understand everything that he says. When I read Mike’s recap and realized what he said, I almost threw up in my mouth. I actually think that Sanjaya is in his own universe. Usually when people are “out there,” I ask them “what is the color of the sky in your world?” The Japanese have a word that describes Sanjaya. It’s “nonkina” (is that spelled correctly?), which basically means he’s clueless/oblivious to what’s going on around him. It’s like he’s this big joke, but he’s not in on it. Seriously though, who is voting for this clown? I read an article saying that the Indian nation has not embraced him. People can’t be voting for him because he’s good, right? Are that many people voting for him to spite the show? Are the producers rigging the votes so that more people watch and talk about it? I guarantee that he is going to last longer than he should and I can guarantee that he won’t win. He may finish in 2^nd or 3^rd, but he won’t win. But if he does, I’ve got him at 20-1! My wife Kristin commented that he may actually have to sing well to get voted off, reasoning that if he does sing well, it ruins the mockery vote. Interesting and probably true.

So, the bottom three should be Haley, Phil and Sanjaya, but I won’t be surprised to see CRich or Blake in the bottom 3. I’d like to think that Melinda, Jordin and LaKisha are safe, but if people take for granted that they are safe and don’t vote, they could be in trouble. I voted for Melinda and Jordin tonight.