AIVI recap, Finalists x 7 (04/17)

Country music night tonight with Martina McBride as the guest mentor. I hate it when American Idol plays Nashville Star for a week. That’s why they have Nashville Star. It’s a separate show. My wife Kristin and I used a Martina McBride/Jim Brickman song (Destiny) for part of our wedding video. That’s basically the extent of how I know her. She’s a pretty one though, with those big blue eyes. Kinda looks like Lauren Graham (Gilmore Girls). Martina’s big thing about country music is that it is about storytelling and that the singers need to connect with the lyrics. I’ve noticed in past weeks that the singers were just singing the lyrics (like they’ve memorized them by rote) and not really meaning what they were singing.

Now on to the singers, with their updated odds to win it all.

01 – Phil Stacey, Where the Blacktop Ends (Keith Urban), 40-1
Can a country singer really be named “Urban?” Phil went with the Johnny Cash/Al Davis, black on black look tonight. And speaking of Johnny Cash, I don’t know if anyone watches golf, but Zach Johnson just won The Masters a few weeks back and although I thought he looks a lot like Chris O’Donnell, he’s really a dead ringer for Joaquin Phoenix, especially when he played Johnny Cash. Too bad his wife doesn’t look like Reese Witherspoon, who supposedly is linked to Jake Gyllenhaal. Back to Phil. His shirt was kinda cool because it had silver pinstripes. He was okay tonight, but he’s always had a good voice, just no personality or spunk. Randy said, as an accomplished producer (nice pat on your back, Dogg), Phil could have a career in country. To me, that’s like hearing that your son could be a very good soccer player. What kind of compliment is that? Paula said that he sounded good from beginning to end (isn’t that the point?). Simon said that it only took him 10 weeks to sound good. Personally, I think this is the kiss of death for Phil. He finally gets good reviews all around and since he’s been in the bottom 3 just about every week, even though this was his strongest performance, he may be out.

02 – Jordin Sparks, A Broken Wing (Martina McBride), 7-2
I wonder how her dad took the fact that she was wearing a San Francisco 49ers dress tonight? She really reminds me of Callie O’Malley from “Grey’s Anatomy.” Man, Jordin has a big voice and she brought the house down. The crowd was going nuts by the time she was finished. It brought my wife to tears. Honest. Randy called it probably one of the hardest songs to sing but she was the bomb. Paula said she looked gorgeous tonight and that she told her story. Simon gave her the ultimate compliment saying that this was the first time that he believed that she actually could win American Idol. I think that she is Melinda’s only serious competition. She’s gotten better each week and really looks comfortable up on stage.

03 – Sanjaya Malakar, Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About (Bonnie Raitt), 5-1
He’s down to 5-1! Just 3 weeks ago he was 30-1! There was a smoldering Constantine sighting before Sanjaya’s ridiculously non-spontaneous question from a fan. Seriously, who is voting for this clown? Actually I do have one “friend” who is voting for him. Here is her reply to me.

C'mon, you have to admit, he is the BEST thing that's happened to the 

show this season!  Everyone is so boring, no personality, (except Blake 

Lewis). Sanjaya fits AI's mission: turn someone into a pop star. Sanjaya is 

pop culture's biggest star right now. Everyone is talking about him..the

internet..Howard Stern...Adam Corolla....SNL.....Letterman..

Have you been Sanjayed??? Yet????

So, you can e-mail her your vicious responses to LorraineIsAFanjaya@MyHusbandHatesMeForThis.com

I really can’t stand this kid anymore because he’s believing the hype. And that’s all it is. I refuse to be upset at him any longer. It’s a waste of time and energy. Sanjaya came out with a bandana on his head, a la John McEnroe. And he seriously underwhelmed me, as usual. Like the “soft talker” on Seinfeld, he’s a “soft singer.” I have to strain to hear him sing, but I usually just refrain from listening. Randy called it really karaoke, bland and boring (cause he was keeping it real). Paula said that he was someone who loves adversity. Simon called it utterly horrendous and as bad as anything he’s seen from the beginning (auditions). I guess the judges figured that playing it nice didn’t seem to work on getting him out so they just decided to tell the truth and at least blow off some steam. He was horrible tonight, but that just doesn’t seem to matter. Which is sad.

04 – LaKisha Jones, Jesus, Take The Wheel (Carrie Underwood), 8-1
If the odds are right, the former front runner along with Melinda is now in the bottom 3, after CRich and Phil. Martina said that she wisely picked this song because she could relate to the lyrics. I wonder if LaKisha knew that she was dressing in a San Diego Padres uniform (brown dress and gold boots)? I don’t really know this song, but I’m pretty sure that I would prefer Carrie’s version. Have you seen Carrie Underwood lately? She’s a shell of her AI self. She looks really, really hot. She was on Saturday Night Live a few weeks back when Peyton Manning hosted. How bad is that cast now? He was pretty funny but the skits were horrible (except the NCAA basketball pool one). I think the cast of “Studio 60” would be better on real live TV. But then again, that show is on hiatus right now. I’m hoping that they bring it back. Great cast (Matthew Perry, Bradley Whitford, Amanda Peet, DL Hughley, etc). I wonder if Carrie got Peyton’s number? She was seen at a Cowboys game over Thanksgiving and was reportedly attached to Tony Romo. Maybe she’s trying to become the NFL’s version of Alyssa Milano (she’s made her way through quite a few baseball players). Randy said that Kiki had some pitch problems in the beginning and wished she would’ve gospel-ed it up a bit. Paula agreed with Randy and added that she sounded like she was shouting. Simon said it was like eating a hamburger for breakfast, it just didn’t go together. I think that LaKisha is in trouble tomorrow night. She may not go, but I think she’ll be in the bottom 3.

05 – Chris Richardson, Mayberry (Rascal Flatts), 25-1
Martina said his voice fits the genre. I know he’s got a bit of a twang, but are all country singers nasal and whiny too? You can always count on Chris doing the bounce when he’s singing. Just like you can always count on people doing the “arm thing” when an Eminem song comes on. Always. It NEVER fails. Randy didn’t feel a sense of connection. Paula said the joy and love on stage didn’t come through. Simon called it a very nondescript, nasally vocal. And that it was complete and utterly insignificant. CRich tried to argue that singing nasally was a style to sing. I don’t know if I’d buy that record. Or is it download that song? What are the kids doing nowadays? CRich should be in the bottom 3 tomorrow and may be gone.

06 – Melinda Doolittle, Trouble Is A Woman (Julie Reeves), 4-5
Yes, that’s 4-5 odds. I hate that she is such a prohibitive favorite, but I really think that she’s going to win it all. It’s just a matter of who will come in second. I didn’t know this song (neither did Martina!) but she sang it well. Maybe that’s how to get over on the judges. Sing a song that they don’t know and therefore they can’t compare it to the original. And if you forget the words, they won’t know. Randy called it another solid performance. Paula said she knows how to pick the right song. Simon prefaced his comments by saying that he was going to compliment her, but to lose the surprised look. He said it was fantastic and likened her to Tina Turner. I can see that with some of her movements. What more can I say about Melinda? She’s my favorite and has been from the start. I don’t think that she’s ever going to sing anything poorly. Some things she’ll sing better than others. Overall, she’ll be the best.

07 – Blake Lewis, When The Stars Go Blue (Tim McGraw), 4-1
I’ve heard this song, but not the Tim McGraw version. I’m a bit ashamed to admit this, but one of my favorite shows is “One Tree Hill” and this song was sung as a duet by Tyler Hilton and Bethany Joy Lenz, who plays Haley James Scott in the show. Tim McGraw is the son of Tug McGraw, who was a pitcher for the Philadelphia Phillies. I found out that he was the illegitimate son of Tug. And Tim didn’t find that out until he was 11. Tim played a role in the movie “Friday Night Lights.” Pretty good movie. As above, I’m a bit sheepish to admit that I’m a fan of the TV show “Friday Night Lights,” which just had their season finale and are anxiously awaiting word if they get picked up for next season or not. Back to Blake. What was up with that argyle vest? For country night? I know that no one is really a country person. Unlike previous years when Bucky, Kellie Pickler and Carrie Underwood were undoubtedly country, but I thought someone would don a hat or something that resembled country attire. Seriously. An argyle vest? My wife Kristin says he dresses like Jesper Parnevik. Maybe Blake can get a clothing deal with J. Lindeberg. I thought Blake was okay tonight, but not great. Randy said he picked the right song and the right arrangement (I liked the One Tree Hill version better). Paula said he kinda has the whole package, including quirky things. Simon was not jumping out of his chair after that performance. Neither was I. I think Blake should be safe tomorrow though.

So, I think everyone got through this theme. Some better than others. No one fell flat on their face, although Sanjaya was bad. But that’s not any different than any previous week. Based on their performances, I think the bottom 3 should be Sanjaya, CRich and LaKisha, but it will more likely be CRich, Phil and LaKisha.