AIV recap, Finalists x 8 (04/11)

Wow. Mandisa is out. She was very gracious in her exit interview on American Idol Extra. Very honest. She didn’t think she’d win, but also didn’t think it was her time to go either. Some blamed the country theme, but others point to the overly religious song the week before that may have set up her ouster.

It was interesting too because I think the others liked her, but it didn’t seem like they were overly broken up that she was leaving either. I think that she’s so spiritual that it was hard for them to get close to her. Who knows how she was behind the scenes? Probably friendly, but not overly infectious. How many times am I going to use “overly” tonight?

I really appreciated all the e-mails back educating me about country night. I was especially impressed with all of y’all’s knowledge of Keith Urban. He was described as a “complete n-o-b-o-d-y until he hooked up with Nicole Kidman.” And a “hottie, in a dirty looking sort of way.” And “he’s a country singer from Down Under (but actually a Kiwi from New Zealand until he moved to Australia).” Hearing that Keith Urban is such a hot country singer reminded me of that joke that either Chris Rock or Charles Barkley or someone said about what a world we live in. Who’d have thunk that the best golfer on the planet is black (Tiger, although, to be correct, he’s mostly (half) Asian (Thai) because his father is African-American, but also mixed with American Indian and others), the best rapper is white (Eminem) and the hot country singer had a last name of Urban (I added that last part).

It’s Queen night tonight. This will be interesting. But maybe not as interesting as Seacrest’s outfit. A grey suit with a grey V-neck sweater under it. A real odd look. He looked like a male stewardess. Oops, I mean flight attendant.

And I’m flying solo again this week. My wife (Kristin) is back in New Jersey at her home office. I miss my wife (Kristin).

01 – Bucky (Fat Bottomed Girls)

He really country-ed this song up. I actually thought it sounded like that song that goes “play that country music.” But then again, I have no idea. Bucky does that thing where he tosses the mike from hand to hand during his performance. It kinda bugs me. I hope he drops it sometime. Would the music stop, like when a gymnast falls off the pommel horse or falls from the rings? Randy said he liked the energy and the rocky-country feel. It was a bit pitchy, but nice. Paula was glad that he made it a country song. Simon called it a good song choice, but that the song was bigger than him and rated the performance mediocre. I thought you were supposed to lead the show off with a big performance. This was not a big performance. Bucky needs to get off the show with the quickness. I’m so over him. I really can’t believe he was a finalist. Nice guy, but please don’t put me through another week of trying to comprehend what he’s singing.

02 – Ace (We Will Rock You)

Oh Ace, I wish I knew how to quit you… Just kidding. I’ve quit him weeks ago. Ace singing Queen is like Rick Astley doing Queen. It just doesn’t match. And if you’re going to do Queen, do a ballad. Don’t castrate a jock rock song. I loved it when that guy (sorry, I don’t know their names; shoot me now) told Ace that he wasn’t going to play his arrangement. It was his song and he just couldn’t do that to the song. I don’t think there are fence sitters on Ace anymore. You either love him because of his looks and his falsetto voice or you hate him with a wrath that is incomprehensible to those who love him. My take on this song is you just don’t mess with this song. And those who love Ace will love those leather pants that he was wearing. Remember that episode of Friends when Ross wore the leather pants and he was sweating in them so profusely and then was stuck in the bathroom because he couldn’t put them back on? And Joey made it worse by having him put talcum powder on his thighs which produced a pasty substance. Anyway, Randy called it a big song, but he just didn’t get it. Paula liked what he tried to do with the song (the operative word here was “tried”) and commended him for taking a risk. Simon called it a complete utter mess. He actually mocked him by calling the song “We Will Rock You (Gently).” That was funny. Ace will probably be in the bottom 3 and I don’t know who I’d rather have go: him or Bucky. Who is the worse of two evils? If someone guaranteed me that these two would be the next two off I wouldn’t care which order it was.

03 – Kellie (Bohemian Rhapsody)

What a look for her tonight. She looked like she could’ve been on that Saturday Night Live skit Sprockets with her all black attire. Or she looked like Bonnie Tyler. If she dyed her hair black she could’ve done the complete Goth look (and hung out by the Vets Hall in Watsonville). This song was so tough for her to condense to a minute and a half. I really couldn’t feel it much because I was used to the Wayne’s World version (and NOT the Constantine version from last year). Queen called her brave and that she had a tough job in front of her. She did give that little wink to the camera at the end though. Randy called her jacket “fly” and that she worked it out. Paula called it extremely ambitious. Simon called her a brave girl (I guess he reconsidered his “ballsy” comment, especially when she asked, “what’s a ballsy?”) and thought of the night of the living dead at the beginning. But, even though on paper it should’ve been hideous, he thought it worked for her. I know some people are tired of the naïve, I’m a country bumpkin act of Kellie, but I’m not. Not yet. It may eventually wear on me, but I’m okay with her for now. If she doesn’t win, she needs to get her own talk show or become a co-host for some show. The things that come out of her mouth sometimes are truly classic. She has not been in the bottom 3 yet this season.

04 – Chris (Innuendo)

We found out earlier that Queen never performed his song live. They liked Chris because of his rock sensibility. I’ve never heard this song. Maybe Live did a version of it that Chris got inspiration from? He came out with a New Orleans Saints shirt on. Nice. I guess he was showing support for the Katrina victims. There was something different about him tonight. Was it his eyebrows were darkened? Or was it eyeliner? He actually looked like Billy Zane (Dead Calm), if Billy Zane was bald. (On a tangent, Dead Calm was Nicole Kidman’s first big US movie. And although she’s known as a big Australian import, she was actually born in Honolulu, HI. See what you learn when you look someone up on IMDB.com?). The strobe lights during Chris’ performance really bugged me. Randy said he didn’t disappoint and that he delivered. Paula said a bunch of stuff but I usually drone her out. She loved it. I think. Simon said it was not a good song but he had a strong vocal. After being goaded by Randy, he even called the song choice indulgent. He wished he’d have done a song that would’ve entertained the audience a bit more. I kinda agree with that assessment. He could’ve done “Another One Bites The Dust” or “Under Pressure.” Chris will be fine tomorrow night. He has not been in the bottom 3 either.

05 – Katharine (Who Wants To Live Forever)

She was going to do an upbeat song and they showed her bouncing around the stage. Queen called her a joy and noticed her bounciness. But then she changed her mind and sang this ballad. She just wanted to stand and sing. Looked pretty classy in her outfit tonight. This song was from the movie Highlander. Great movie. There can be only one. And don’t lose your head. Basically the Highlanders were immortal and the only way you die is if your head is cut off. The main character (Christopher Lambert) was banished from his village because he was wounded in battle but did not die (this was in 1536). He meets another like him (Sean Connery) who shows him the ropes. Fast forward to modern day (1986) New York where there is a Gathering of all the immortals for the “prize.” This ballad really fit that movie. And Katharine did a wonderful job with it. In addition to the others that I said Katharine looks like, she’s also been called Jaclyn Smith and a touch of Paulina Porizkova. Can you believe she’s married to Ric Ocasek of The Cars? That’s probably a bigger upset than Lyle Lovett marrying Julia Roberts. Especially since they’re still married and have 2 kids. Anyway, Randy said it was good to hear her switching her song and she did a good job, all in all. Paula said it was the right decision and that she handled it. Simon the lights and band made her look amazing and she was one of the strongest vocals of the night. She’s been in the bottom 3 once. I am on her bandwagon. Her’s and Taylor’s. If those were the final two, I’d be happy.

06 – Elliott (Somebody To Love)

Had a bunch of odd jobs in the past. One was an overnight DJ and he introduced himself, which was pretty fun. They said he chose the hardest song. I was confusing this song with another (Need Somebody To Love? Or is it the same song?). It seemed as though the music was too loud or the arrangement was too fast for him. He just seemed engulfed by the music. Again, I wish I had my ears to help me on this one. I miss my wife (Kristin). I really felt like Marlee Matlin on this song (they just showed her in the audience). Randy said it was the hardest song with all the chord changes but he loved it. Paula called it the best vocal tonight. She needs to cut her prescription back. Simon said it was an in and out performance but overall he thinks he pulled it off. I think Elliott is vulnerable again tomorrow night.

07 – Taylor (Crazy Little Thing Called Love)

He was going to do “We Are The Champions” but changed his mind at the last second. I think “We Are The Champions” would’ve fit Ace’s voice a lot better. It’s a shame if he wanted to do that song originally but Taylor, for lack of a better term, aced him out of it. Taylor wore a grey suede blazer (I love him in blazers) to match his hair. And he tried to kick the mic stand and missed! What a faux paus! It was hilarious. But he recovered nicely. This was a typical Taylor, high energy song. I was glad to see it again. I really like Taylor. Some people hate him, but I think he’s very genuine. And has a ton of fun singing. I respect and appreciate that. Randy said he’s back and it was hot. Paula called it refreshing and an authentic Taylor. Simon asked if he was drunk and called it ridiculous. I think they were all true. Taylor is the third of 3 who have not been in the bottom 3.

08 – Paris (The Show Must Go On)

Queen said she was damn good. The jury is still out on Paris for me. I don’t doubt her singing ability. It’s the other baggage that comes with her that I’m hung up on. I thought her outfit was precocious tonight (she’s only 16!). She looked very Janet Jackson circa Control and Pleasure Principle. I was hoping that she had a key earring. Since no one commented on my Paris-hair joke last week, I’ll try again. How did she grow so much hair for tonight’s performance? Rogaine? And I think she had colored contacts on, which really bugs me. It especially bugs me when Asian girls wear blue or green contacts. Asians have brown eyes, okay? Anything else looks foolish. Randy said she worked it out in the end. Paula called her a powerhouse. Simon called it weird and (this is what annoys me about Paris) she said “thank you” in a real “affected” way. Who says thank you to an obvious slight? “Weird” is not a compliment that you say thank you to.

My bottom three tonight were Bucky, Ace, Paris. We’ll see how it shakes out tomorrow night.