AIV recap, Finalists x 9 (04/04)

First off, I’m sad that Lisa Tucker is gone. She is such a talented singer. And she was so classy during the whole competition. She is going to make it in the business. It’s not a matter of if, but when.

Thank you to those who e-mailed me about Kristy Swanson. I asked whatever happened to Kristy Swanson and I was notified that she “won” the Skating with Celebrities competition. And that it created a bit of a controversy because her partner supposedly left his wife and kids to be with her. The judges said that they had quite a connection. Little did they know…And she was sitting with Debbie Gibson. I know she goes by Deborah Gibson now, but she’ll always be Debbie Gibson to me. Funny nose and all. I think that it’s insulting to her when she gets mentioned in the same breath as Tiffany. Debbie Gibson wrote most of her songs and Tiffany was just a girl who sang covers of songs and made it because she was one of the first mall singers. Their talent levels were completely different.

Welcome to American Idol, the Nashville Star version. Country night. Great. I love country music. It’s too bad sarcasm doesn’t come across in words because I was rolling my eyes when I typed that. I will admit right now that I hate country music. I don’t know country music. When I think of country music, I think of the twang-y singers where vocals aren’t as important as the lyrics and stories that they are trying to tell. My wife tells me that there are other types of country music. Basically, I’m ignorant on the genre. Because I only think of the twang-y music I’m going to be of little help tonight. I won’t have song titles or singers because I don’t know them and AI didn’t put them on the screen like they have in the past. Are they really targeting me and trying to annoy me further?

I’m actually mad that they even have a country night. Does Nashville Star have a pop/top 40 night?

In the crowd tonight, Whoopi Goldberg and Chris Rock. And Kenny Rogers is the guest helper. But this guy has short hair and a goatee. Didn’t look like the Kenny Rogers that I know. Only Kellie and Bucky have a country background, so for the other 7, they probably won’t shine, but their objective is to survive and make it to next week where they may be able to perform better.

01 – Taylor

He sings Take Me Home, Country Roads. Did Bob Denver sing that? (ed note: my wife corrected me in that John Denver sang this song. Bob Denver, who played Gilligan, may have sung this song, but John Denver originally recorded it) Taylor wore a black blazer tonight. I was glad to see him back in a jacket. But he didn’t really have fun with the song. Didn’t dance (which some people may appreciate, although I’m not one of them; I love it when he dances) and looked like he was trying to force the fun. It was a different arrangement, but it wasn’t great. Randy said it was a pretty good song choice, but the vocals were just okay and not really exciting. The song didn’t let him exude his personality. Paula said the song didn’t allow him to shine. Simon called it safe, boring and lazy. Seacrest said those words described Simon’s love life. I can’t stand Ryan Seacrest, but that one was a pretty snappy comeback. I must relate that last week my sister-in-law’s 4-year-old daughter (so that makes her my niece, for those of you scoring at home) saw Taylor singing and asked “Mommy, does he need to go potty?” So, if this doesn’t work out for him, Novartis can maybe use him as a spokesperson for their new overactive bladder drug Enablex.

02 – Mandisa

Hmm. This song sounded like a country version of a rap song. Was it good? I don’t know. It had a lot of words in it. She’s more versatile than others in the competition as far as singing different genres. I really don’t know if this song was good or not. Randy said he only liked the last 4 bars of the song. Paula didn’t like the song. Simon said the song was horrible because it was fun and cutesy and he liked the 4 seconds after the song was over. The best part of the song WAS the 4 seconds after the song was over because they flashed on Summer from The O.C. But it was funny because she was the only one in her section who didn’t give Mandisa a standing ovation. Maybe we’ll find out why from Matt Rogers on Thursday on American Idol Extra. As they were sitting on the side of the stage, Simon called out Seacrest for trying to look like Mike the plumber from Desperate Housewives.

03 – Elliott

Didn’t know the song, but Elliott looked incredibly uncomfortable while he was singing it. He was singing it in a vibrato (although it was a nervous vibrato) and I asked my wife if that was the way the song was supposed to be sung (because I didn’t think country music included vibratos). I thought he was adding the vibrato to jazz up the country song. Can you tell I’m totally lost on tonight’s theme? I have no baseline to judge what is good or bad. Or acceptable or not. I hate country night as much as I hate the bad auditions. Randy thought Elliott brought it down and said it was hot. Paula called him a breath of fresh air because he is so humble and understated. Simon said it was a good song choice, but noticed that he was a bit hesitant. Elliott did mention he was nervous. Elliott has not been in the bottom 3 yet (nor has Paris, Mandisa, Taylor or Kellie).

04 – Paris

One of my wife’s friends called Paris “affected.” When I heard that, I thought it was right on. They’ve used that word a lot in the past (it seemed to be a buzzword last season), but they don’t have the guts to use it on her because of how she is connected in the music industry. By the way, my wife’s name is Kristin (for those of you who don’t know her). Last week, I mentioned her by name and one of our friends e-mailed me commenting on how she didn’t know if I remembered her name because I usually only refer to her as “my wife.” Anyway, I’m always amazed at how different Paris’ hair looks from week to week. She had a ponytail during her work with Kenny. Did she chop it off for tonight’s show? Paris sang the Con Air song (How Do I Live), which, if I remember correctly, has a pretty interesting history to it. I think it was sung by two different singers (LeAnn Rimes and Trisha Yearwood) because one of them sang it for the soundtrack for the movie but the producers didn’t think she caught the essence of the song and had the other one sing it. Can anyone enlighten me on this? Does anyone care about this? My wife Kristin liked this movie because she’s a big fan of John Cusack. She probably wouldn’t have seen an action type movie like this but since he was in it she saw it and liked it. I was a bit surprised by this because as much as she likes Cusack, she probably equally hates Nicolas Cage. Okay, back to Paris. She was flat quite a bit tonight. And she really has no excuse on this song because it was sung by a country singer, but the song really is a crossover pop song. Although my wife Kristin pointed out that maybe pop isn’t her thing either. Her thing is more Motown-y and bluesy or jazzy (like that song “Fever”). Randy said it was a tough song for her and the front part was not good. Paula said even though she has a powerhouse voice it didn’t seem like she connected to the song. And the crowd booed her! Simon said he thought it was very good and an excellent song choice. He likened her to an early Dionne Warwick. Maybe he’s trying his reverse-psychology on this one. Maybe he wants her out and praised her so that people won’t vote for her because they think she’s safe.

05 – Ace

He sang some Keith Urban song. I don’t know who Keith Urban is, but I’ve heard the name. This song reminded me of Bette Midler’s “Wind Beneath My Wings” at certain parts. My wife Kristin thought that Kenny hit it right on when he said that Ace squeezes out notes. I thought Ace was better tonight than in the last few weeks. No cheesy point to a scar tonight. Didn’t over-stare into a camera tonight. Randy called the song nice, but threw in a “it was really boring for me.” He did praise the falsetto at the end though. Paula said he has the knack for picking the right song for his voice (my wife Kristin commented that she thought the song was very contemporary). Simon said he chose the right song.

06 – Kellie

I had been reading on that vote for the worst site that people were calling Kellie a fraud. That her downhome persona was just an act. They mentioned how they made a big deal about how she pronounced calamari and how it was the first time she had eaten it. I guess they checked the menu where she used to work (if I remember correctly, she was a waitress on skates) and calamari was on the menu, so they were assuming that she knew what calamari was. It was funny because Seacrest addressed that with her before her song. It’s weird how they listen to the gossip and address it every week (like Katharine pulling out of the competition and being pregnant and Chris with his uncredited version of “I Walk The Line” – I’ll address that more next). I tell you, Kellie knows how to dress the part to get votes. Maybe she should help Katharine dress in the future. Kellie was a complete 180 in her confidence compared to Stevie Wonder week. Didn’t know this song, but she owned it. Randy called her in her element (my wife’s Kristin’s words exactly). Paula liked the song because she was able to sink her teeth into it. Simon said he hated the song personally, but thought the performance was good.

07 – Chris

I’m still steaming about that “I Walk The Line” that Chris did a few weeks back. He had plenty of opportunities to say his version was inspired by the version Live did of it. Barry mentioned he’d never heard it sung that way. Even if he said it to Barry then and it got cut out of the pre-song piece, he had ample opportunity to give the credit when the judges were praising him. It’s like he was writing a paper and didn’t cite his source. He would literarily (not literally) be guilty of plagiarism. It got to me again last week because on AI Extra they were asking the contestants who their inspirations were and Chris mentioned Ed Kowalczyk, the lead singer for Live. All this being said, Chris sang a Keith Urban song, but my wife Kristin thought it was Live’s version of the Keith Urban song. But we’ll never know because Chris didn’t mention it. Actually it was a good vocal. My wife Kristin said he has the nicest lowest register of the group. I really have no idea what that means. Like in Pretty Woman when Julia Roberts says that Richard Gere’s car “corners like it’s on rails.” Randy said it was a good job and he enjoyed it. Paula said he showed his versatility and still stayed true to himself. Simon said it was great to see a different side, but that his song choice was boring (along with most of the other contestants the last few weeks).

08 – Katharine

My manager mentioned today that she thinks Katharine looks like Victoria Principal. So she looks like her, Valerie Bertinelli, chubby Katie Holmes. Are there any more? Please forward if so. Didn’t know the song, but Kat seemed to have fun with it. She bounces a lot when she sings. But that’s her personality. Some people are bubbly. Katharine is bouncy. Randy liked the bluesy/country song. Paula said she’s found her niche, which is sexy and hot. Simon called the song peculiar. She remarked that Simon just doesn’t like country music and he said you’re right. I hate it. It only took him 8 singers (out of 9) to admit that. He really was a pill tonight. But then again, I would’ve probably been that way too.

09 – Bucky

This intro was hilarious because Kenny told Bucky that because people may not know this song, he advised him to try to overenunciate without losing his personality. I find this amusing because I can’t understand ¾ of the words that come out of Bucky’s mouth when he’s singing. My wife Kristin didn’t know this song, but she could tell that Bucky was flat throughout it. How ironic would it be if Bucky got voted off during country week? That would be like Chris being voted off on rock week. Or Ace being voted out on “sing like you’ve been emasculated” week. Or Kevin being voted out on “sing with a lisp” week. Randy called it okay, but pitchy at the beginning. Paula said he shined the most tonight. Simon admitted he wasn’t an expert, but it sounded okay to him.

The bottom 3 will be tough tomorrow night. Performance-wise it could be Bucky, Paris and Taylor. Popularity-wise it could be Ace, Katharine and Elliott. Who knows? I’ll just be glad when this week is over.